Sacrifice
by Ulqy-chan
Summary: When Kanda finds that Allen, distraught and confused, has left the Order, the samurai chases after his beloved beansprout. But will Kanda reach the boy before something horrible reaches him? All kinds of obstacles stand in the two exorcists ways. Yullen.
1. Decisions

Ok so I started this role play of D. Gray-Man with my best friend, and as we role played she pointed out that it was turning into one hellova epic story, so I decided hey, why not turn it into one?

And thus here we are now XD I'll continue to thank said best friend as the story progresses, for without her, there would be no Yuu Kanda in this story, meaning there certainly wouldn't be any Yullen. 3

I want to warn you guys beforehand. This is Yullen. Guy on guy stuff. And it gets pretty intense cause me and my friend are both die-hard Yullen fan girls, making everything our characters do what every Yullen fan girl would want them to do. Of course, we are also fans of them staying IN character. So we managed to squeeze that into the Yullen goodness. If you don't like guy on guy stuff, please go. I made sure we didn't go overboard but it can still be pretty…uh I don't know. So anyways, enjoy~!

* * *

**::~Sacrifice~::**

_True love is laced with sacrifices._

**Chapter One: Decisions**

Kanda glanced from his spot in the cafeteria, which was completely deserted because of the great fear he inflicted in every finder if they tried to sit near him. The samurai was watching a peculiar performance by the white haired bean sprout. It was the first time he'd ever seen Allen not inhaling food while in the cafeteria.

Allen looked like _shit._

_What the hell happened to him?_ Kanda began to glare at the boy, as if willing him to act normally with a piercing look.

Kanda waited a while, watching Allen closely as the boy sat with his head lowered at an empty table, with no food, and simply pet the golden golem that was sitting on the tables edge. It was like he was thinking deeply.

Kanda let out a rough "Che" and stood up abruptly, taking his cleaned off tray over to Jerry to deal with, then turning to go. However right before the samurai began his fast paced walk away from the counter he got an idea.

"Oi. I want mitarashi dango." Kanda stated quickly to the cook.

Jerry looked at Kanda with a sort of surprised look, and he didn't blame the man. Kanda _loathed_ sweets.

But this wasn't for him.

"Alright coming up! How many do you want?" Jerry asked, leaning one elbow on the counter casually after starting up a few things in the kitchen. This caused Kanda to hesitate.

"However many you think the bean sprout would eat." Kanda said, unaware of how much that would be.

"Ah! Alright then!" Jerry rushed off. Kanda had a sinking feeling that he was in over his head… and soon it would be literally. With mitarashi dango. After a moment Jerry came back with Kanda's order, and the samurai cursed under his breath.

_Really, Moyashi? You can eat THIS MUCH?_ The samurai mentally questioned in his head as he gazed upon the mound of food that was just given to him.

_Ok…now to get it over to him. Without anyone seeing. And without me having to touch these…disgusting…things. _Kanda thought for a while before a group of finders walked by conveniently.

"Oi. You three." Kanda ordered to them, they all stopped in their tracks in fear.

"Y-yes…Sir Exorcist…?" one replied shakily.

"Carry these to the Moyashi." the samurai said, motioning to the mound of mitarashi dango on the counter in front of him. They all stared at the mound, then back at Kanda as if he were asking them to braid his hair.

Kanda frowned then let his hand find its way to Mugen's hilt, causing the three finders to immediately dive at the pile of food and attempt to carry it. Kanda let a small smirk fall on his features as they struggled across the cafeteria towards where Allen was sitting.

The finders rushed away from the table as soon as the cargo was dropped off. Kanda approached the table slowly, as if acting like he had nothing to do with the three finders that just dumped a pile of sweets in front of the boy.

"Eat. You're always happier when you eat." Kanda ordered stiffly, eyeing the boy with a sort of concerned look, though he'd be damned if he let anyone notice this.

"I'm not hungry." Allen suddenly said after looking at the food. His eyes immediately dropped downward afterwards.

There was a long silence. Kanda stayed as still as a statue, waiting for some sign of the normal, annoying bean sprout. He got no such sign.

"Che."

Timcanpy, who had been happily sitting on the table being pet, managed to eat its way out of the deathly large pile of mitarashi dango that had landed on it, and began munching away at the pile since its master seemed to not want it.

Kanda gave Allen a hard glare. The boy was lucky enough to not be looking anywhere near the samurai.

"Fine. Sulk." Kanda said harshly after a few minutes of silence. He noticed Allen flinched, and looked every more distraught, if that was possible. The samurai narrowed his eyes and turned away, starting up his fast pace away from the depressed boy.

_That's what I get for f*cking caring._

Kanda hissed out a venomous "Che" and made his way to his room, knowing what was waiting for him there, he slowed his pace. A sudden anger welled up inside of Kanda, causing him to stop completely in his tracks and grind his teeth together.

_God damn it! Whoever the hell did that to him…_

Kanda tightened one hand around the hilt of his sword, vowing here and now to kill the pathetic human that dared to cause Allen pain.

After satisfying his anger with mental images of him slicing, cutting, and stabbing said victim, Kanda marched off down a different hallway. Once the Japanese exorcist reached his destination, the training room, he went over to the quiet area of the room and removed Mugen from his belt and sat down, placing the sheathed sword beside him.

_Now to clear my mind of these damned thoughts. _Kanda let out a huff of a breath before closing his eyes. Meditation was always his way of escaping the world temporarily.

::

Allen felt another pang of guilt hit his heart as he painfully rejected Kanda away. But he had to keep reminding himself that this was for his own good. Allen closed his eyes and let out a long sigh, it coming out as a sort of whimper accidentally.

The boy turned to glance at a clock that was nailed to one of the large walls of the cafeteria. His heart leapt into his throat. It was time.

_I…I've made up my mind. I'll choose the second choice. It'll keep everyone safer…_

With that decided, Allen stood up, a sad determination taking over his features. He turned and walked out of the cafeteria. Little did everyone inhabiting the large room know that this would be the last time they would see the parasite-type exorcist.

Allen slowly made it to his room, closing the door behind him quietly. Timcanpy flew off of the boys head and fluttered in front of its master, tilting its body in a confused-concerned gesture. Allen ignored the golden golem and let out a deep sigh, leaning his back against the door directly behind him.

_I should get ready now… _Allen glanced at the golem, which made the creature perk up at the attention, determine to help its master. Allen gave the golem a sad smile.

"I'm sorry, Timcanpy, but you'll have to stay here for me, alright?"

The golem tilted its body even more. Not able to grasp what Allen meant. The boy let out another sigh.

"I'm leaving, Timcanpy. But I want you to stay here." he repeated. Even though he was saying this to the golem, Allen felt like he had to repeat it several times for his own mind to grasp it.

_I'm leaving._

_Leaving._

_Lea…_

…_ving…_

Allen clenched one fist and leaned off the door, crossing his room. Within a few minutes he had dissected his room of all that was necessary, and packed it all in a bag. Allen set the bag down on his bed and stared down at it for a moment, hair covering his eyes. Timcanpy frantically flew around the boys head, panicking. The poor golem now knew what Allen was talking about, however it was helpless to stop him.

Allen realized he was still wearing an exorcist coat, and quickly changed that by removing the uniform, revealing his normal white long sleeved t-shirt and red ribbon along with dress pants. The boy took the uniform and folded it nicely on the edge of his bed. Now all he had to do was form a door to the ark, do one more thing and then he would be gone.

Allen felt a throbbing lump form in his throat. His blue-gray eyes suddenly began to sting.

_No…not now. _

The boy brought a hand up to his face, shutting his eyes for a moment. The sensation faded and Allen regained his composure, lifting the bag off the bed and swinging one strap over his shoulder.

Allen closed his eyes and focused on connecting with the ark. A silent procedure he had mastered in order to help exorcists move around the world faster by teleportation.

::

_I can't believe I'm doing this. _Kanda thought as he marched towards the bean sprouts room in an angry, quick pace. The minutes of meditation that he had managed to get made him realize that mitarashi dango alone would not make Allen happy, the samurai would have to make a more direct approach.

Kanda reached the boys room door and let out a huff.

_He better open up quickly, I'm not in the mood to deal with his sulking shit._

The samurai knocked hard on the door three times with his right hand, quickly withdrawing the hand to rest on Mugen's hilt casually.

::

Allen froze, he was one step away from entering the white door of the ark before he heard three loud knocks on his door.

_Shit! Who could it be?_

::

"Oi, Moyashi. Open the damn door." Kanda ordered taking his hand away from Mugen, or temptation to cut the door down, and crossing his arms impatiently across his chest.

_If he doesn't open it ion the next minute I'm opening it myself._

::

…_It's Kanda?_

Allen had to swallow hard to force the newly formed lump down his throat. Kanda had come to see him? Why? The boy shook his head silently, less he made a noise of inner struggle loud enough for the samurai's sharp ears to hear. Allen forced himself to step through the door, not wanting to risk being seen by Kanda, who will undoubtedly get impatient with the silence and cut down the door. Allen soon disappeared into the white town of Noah's ark. His room deserted as the portal closed, save a sad, helpless and confused Timcanpy, and a neatly abandoned exorcist coat.

_I'm sorry…I guess you were…too late, you slowpoke…_

With those thoughts in mind, Allen silently went to the hidden room of the 14th, making sure he was seen by no one. Once there he played the white piano, the 'key', making one last request of the ark. The boy finished the song then let his hands linger there for a moment before withdrawing his hands and turning away, walking out of the room and then out into the empty streets of the white ark.

After finding an empty door, a door that was not connected to a dimension or place in the world, Allen closed his eyes and focused, connecting the door to a new place in the world. Once the connection was complete he let out a sigh, opened the door, and walked through.

The door closed behind him, and the abandonment of the order by Allen Walker was complete as of then.

::

Kanda let out a hiss as he got no reply, and grabbed his swords hilt, drawing his blade out quickly.

"Fine, I'll open it myself." the samurai said roughly, then with expert aim, Kanda sliced two diagonal slashes in the door, cutting through the material with Mugen. He created a perfectly symmetrical "X" in the door, making the doors pieces fall over, opening the door.

Immeadiately the first thing Kanda saw was the folded exorcist coat. Already his mind was clicking with what happened.

_Shit._

Kanda noticed a very distraught Timcanpy, confirming his belief.

_That damned…Moyashi!!! _

The samurai quickly rushed inside of the room, grabbing the uniform harshly and then stormed out, walking towards Komui's room. A few finders that were walking down the halls shrunk in fear as Kanda flew by them, a deadly aura of anger surrounding him.

_You wont get away that easily…Allen!_

_---_

**Broken: ****by Seether**

_I wanted you to know_

_That I love the way you laugh _

_I want to hold you high and steal your pain away_

_I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well_

_I want to hold you high and steal your pain_

_Cause im broken when I'm lonesome_

_And I don't feel right when you're gone away._

---

* * *

Ok! Done with the first chapter! Wewt! I hope you all aren't angry at me for making Allen leave! I want to point out again that this is Yullen, there's no way I'm writing an entire story about the two stars being SEPORATED! So don't worry…too much ~evil grin~ Anyways, review! I'd love to hear how I did with keeping people in character and stuffs. I'm excited about this story X3

~Ulqy-chan ish FINALLY WRITING A DGM STORY jeez. What kind of fan am I? Took me long enough to write one.


	2. The First Sacrifice

Yosh! I'm so excited about this story! You guys have no idea!

SolitaryLotus: OMGNESS! The famous RP has finally been published xD I'm pumped for this to go public, but DANG Moyashi...next time don't leave me D: ~ BaKanda

Me: Yosh it has been published! Omg I'm pumped too! And I'm sorreh, mah dear slowpoke, I had to run away to create the plot! Tis all my doing D: *Allen angst* ~ Moyashi

**::~Sacrifice~::**

_True love is laced with sacrifices._

**Chapter Two: The First Sacrifice**

"Supervisor!" A stern, demanding and very threatening voice called, startling said supervisor out of his comfortable chair and onto the ground where many papers lay. Lenalee, who must have been visiting her older brother for god knows what sort of strange schedule he has, turned and gazed at Kanda with a confused look

Kanda hissed in annoyance. "What the_ hell_ happened to the bean sprout?! You will tell me. Now." he demanded.

"Ka-what happened?" Komui stuttered, fixing his hat that had fallen crooked from his little journey onto the floor. He then climbed back into his chair and looked at Kanda with a concerned expression.

"Answer my question first." Kanda ordered, his gaze intensifying each second.

Komui hesitated for a moment before finding what information would suffice for the samurai.

"...Well nothing as far as I know. Allen-kun had his weekly talk with Inspector Leverrier." he paused for a moment, tapping his right index finger on his chin thoughtfully, Kanda was already connecting the dots. Leverrier. Of course he would be behind it.

"...Now that I recall, they talked longer than usual today...and I haven't seen hide or tail of Allen-kun since this morning." Komui finished.

That was it.

Kanda whirled around and stormed out of the room, Lenalee looked over at her brother one last time before running out of the room after Kanda, easily beating his fast paced walk and coming up beside him as he glided down the halls.

"Kanda, what's going on?" Lenalee asked as she walked--well, _ran_ with the samurai. She noticed an exorcist uniform in Kanda's arms, though she couldn't tell who it belonged to, that made her worry even more.

"The idiot left." was all that Kanda said, hissing loudly as he turned sharply down another hallway. Lenalee followed him expertly.

"Who left? Where are we going?" she asked, her heart in her throat.

"Che! The damned Moyashi left! L.E.F.T." his anger peaked. After a moment the samurai added quietly, almost to himself. "I'm going to bring his ass back here."

Kanda glanced over at Lenalee after another moment of simply rushing down the hallways.

"We're going to find that bastard dog of Central." he cursed under his breath. Kanda suddenly lunged onto a passing by finder, grabbing the young man by the collar and unsheathing Mugen in a flash, pressing the blade against the finder's neck. The finder let out a strangled cry then clenched his mouth shut, too afraid to talk now that the blade of a sword was against his neck.

"Where is Leverrier? Tell me. Now. Unless you want to lose your head." Kanda threatened, his eyes burning into the finders very soul. Lenalee slowed to a stop and protested as the event unfolded, but she made no physical move to stop Kanda.

"I-I don't…know! I'm new here!! Please don't kill me!" the man begged. Kanda released his hold on the collar of the finders shirt and scoffed in disgust. Begging to be spared always caused the samurai to hate the finders even more. They were so useless and helpless. After those thoughts passed Kanda turned swiftly, Mugen still drawn, and continued down the hallway.

Another finder was walking down the hall as well, and Kanda barely gave the man enough time to figure out what hit him, for within seconds he was pinned against the nearby wall of the hallway, the sword of an angry samurai inches away from his neck.

"Where is Leverrier?!" Kanda ordered once more, his voice on the verge of cracking. Lenalee could tell the samurai was very anxious. She was too. They simply _had _to figure out why Allen left and get him back as soon as possible.

The finder trembled, then suddenly went limp in Kanda's grip. The samurai made an odd sound of annoyance and released his hold on the mans shirt, causing the finder to hit the ground with a light thud.

"Damned guy fainted." Kanda said harshly, turning immediately to seek out another victim to hopefully get information from. All the while the samurai felt a strong pounding in his chest. Every second that went on without knowing what happened with Allen, every second of not knowing where he was…It was killing him. Burning his chest from the inside.

An unprepared Lavi was the next victim as Kanda brandished Mugen, managing to pin the flailing Bookman in training to a nearby wall by piercing the blade through the fabric of Lavi's shirt.

"Where is Leverrier?! Tell me. I know you know too, you idiotic rabbit." Kanda hissed out, leaning closer to Lavi in order to get his point across, Mugen holding Lavi in place.

"I-I uh… Why do you need to see Leverrier?" Lavi asked innocently, not denying that he knew.

"Don't f*ck with me damn it! You're a bookman for gods sake! You should be aware of why the hell I need to see him! He did something to the Moyashi!" Kanda yelled, not quite himself at the moment. Lenalee only watched, shocked at Kanda's rising voice.

"Alright, alright! Don't get so impatient, Yuu~!" Lavi said with a grin, this caused Kanda to tense even more and turn the blade of Mugen to an angle where he could slice through Lavi easier.

"Don't call me by my first name damn it. Now hurry up."

After Lavi managed to squeak out the whereabouts of Leverrier Kanda did not hesitate to march off towards that direction. Lavi stayed behind, savoring his life that had been spared.

Kanda ran swiftly down the halls, hugging the wall and skidding slightly as he swung around turns, reaching the destination in a matter of seconds.

_Lavi: "Leverrier should be heading towards the Ark Room any minute now. If you go down the hall that leads to Hevalaska's chamber you'll probably run into him."_

Kanda noticed that just down the current hall he was running through stood a huddle of black cloaked central guards, along with a man standing within the huddle.

Leverrier.

Wasting no time, Kanda leapt forward once he was at a good distance and pushed his way through the guards 'barrier', grabbing Leverrier by his collar and placing Mugen's tip at the mans throat.

"What the HELL did you do to Allen Walker?!" Kanda demanded, a pained look in his sapphire eyes. Lenalee caught up to Kanda and glared at Leverrier as well, not only because of what the man had done to Allen, but for her own experiences with the man.

Leverrier's eyes reflected only a fraction of fear before a smirk formed, washing it away. Kanda began to feel uneasy, and pressed the tip of Mugen against the mans neck dangerously, causing a trail of blood to form. At that moment all the guards that had been surrounding the central officer had their own weapons drawn and pointed at the samurais neck. Reinforcements came and also surrounded Lenalee, who was about to activate her innocence to assist Kanda.

"Why, all I did was give him two choices. Apparently he made his choice."

Kanda narrowed his eyes, completely un-phased by the weapons pointed at his own throat, and only focused on Leverrier.

"Now, if you would be so kind as to release me, exorcist, I have a new ark to explore." Leverrier said with a smug look. Kanda had the strong urge to punch the man senseless, but he held that back for later, at least till after he found out what exactly he made Allen chose to cause the boy to flee the Order…and…

_Why he was so…right before he left._

_It was as if he was condemning himself to loneliness._

…_bastard. _Kanda glared at the man with all of his might.

"I demand to know what poison you gave him as options and if you don't f*cking tell me now, I swear I'll slit your goddamned throat open and I don't give a shit what your guard do to me afterwards." Kanda declared, completely prepared to see it through, and do even more to Leverrier if he didn't get answers right away.

"Oh? We created you, Yuu Kanda. We can easily destroy you." Leverrier hissed out, then suddenly looked over at one of the guards.

"You. Go into Kanda's room and locate his life force." the guard nodded and left, then Leverrier turned to look at another guard, all the while ignoring the tip of Mugen temporarily, which pissed Kanda off even more.

"You. If anything happens to me contact the guard that has Kanda's life force via golem and tell him to take off three petals." the guard nodded and proceeded in readying a golem. Kanda flinched but then regained his composure.

_That doesn't matter anymore…_

An image of Allen flashed through the samurais mind. The boy, out somewhere in the world, alone and confused. Broken. It made Kanda's heart ache. Nothing else mattered anymore.

_Just stay alive until I find you, Baka Moyashi…_

"You think...something as trivial as THAT would stop me?!" Kanda asked, activating Mugen without the usually needed finger-swipe down the blade. The metal glowed a brilliant blue, being surrounded by a sharp flowing aura.

"Just. Tell. Me. Now." the samurai ordered darkly, then added in a dangerously mocking tone. "Do you realize? By the time those guards could kill me I'd already have you cut to mere ribbons. Where would your power be then?"

Leverrier raised an eyebrow. Kanda clenched his teeth together.

"If you insist. Since we were getting nowhere with simple questions, and that it was becoming obvious that the boy would break soon, I simply told him he had two choices."

Leverrier paused for a moment, obviously savoring the moment.

"One was to be locked up and wait for him to lose against the Noah in him, with the possibility of us not being able to contain it. Or the second choice, which was to hand over his powers to me, and leave the order and never come back in order to keep the Black Order safe for when he turns into a Noah." A grin formed on the central officers face, Kanda already knew what was coming but it made his blood boil all the same.

"He chose the second one." was all that Leverrier said, a large triumphant grin on his face.

There was a long silence, Kanda simply stared at the man, like an awkward bomb that everyone knows is about to go off, but they don't bother trying to do anything, for its futile. It'll explode.

And Kanda Yuu did just that.

Leverrier found himself being thrown into the ground by the hand that had been holding his collar to keep him still. The impact of the floor with his head dazed him for a moment, and Kanda took that opportunity to stab downwards with his sword at the inspectors head. The samurai missed it purposely by the width of a pin, the blue aura of Mugen slicing through the skin on Leverrier's cheek. The sword was now lodged in the ground right beside Leverrier's head.

"Che…" Kanda hissed out and leaned forward slightly on the hilt of his sword, looming over Leverrier.

"You…bastard!! You mentally ruined innocent boy and forced him to choose between two choices that…_Aren't even real!!_ He has other _options_ then that damn it!" Kanda huffed heavily. "Be thankful I didn't kill you, you foul rat."

At that, the samurai easily pulled Mugen from out of the ground and deactivated it, sheathing the blade and straightening up fully, then added quietly, threateningly.

"…I'll let Allen do that himself."

After having most…well…half of his anger turned into words, Kanda turned swiftly and brushed aside the blades of the guards weapons which had been pointed at his neck the entire time. They most likely didn't do anything to stop Kanda once he activated his innocence because normal weapons wouldn't stand a chance against Mugen. Kanda understood that. He then walked away from the scene, hissing out to Lenalee as he passes her.

"Che. We're leaving."

Lenalee only nodded, a worried look in her eyes as she followed Kanda down the hallway. She spared a glance behind her in time to catch Leverrier standing up slowly and holding the small wound on his cheek with a gloved hand carefully, glaring back at the two. Their eyes met and Lenalee felt a sudden chill run down her spine.

He was smiling.

Lenalee returned her gaze forward, even more worried now. "So how will we find Allen? He could be anywhere…" Lenalee asked, finding her voice.

"Che. Simple. We start looking." Kanda said over his shoulder. Lenalee couldn't help but let a small smile of determination form.

"Right."

Without warning Kanda jolted to a stop, gasping in a short breath, one hand coming up to grasp his chest where his tattoo resided. The samurai instantly knew what was happening.

"Sh-Shit.…"

Kanda felt his heart beat heavily once and his widened in shock and pain, pupils turning to dots and veins appearing around his eyes.

Another heavy heart beat caused the burning hot feeling to leave his veins, turning them ice cold.

A final painfully heavy heart beat sounded through the samurai's body, Kanda did all he could to hold back a groan of pain, holding onto the nearest wall for support. By now the tattoo that resided beneath Kanda's uniform would be visible slightly, having snaked up his neck and partially down his left arm. Lenalee rushed over to him, grabbing one of his arms in a worried act, trying to help him bear whatever was happening to him.

"D-damn it…"

_So they plucked off three petals anyways…eh?_

Kanda let out a long breath, trying to regain his composure, however the aching and weakness did not leave, after all, three petals were equivalent to three lives. Kanda felt as if all his energy was just drained.

_No…no time to be weak… I need to find Allen…_

With that mindset, Kanda shrugged Lenalee off him the best he could, gently of course, then returned to running off towards his room, determined to set out immediately and look for Allen.

---

**::~Guardian Angel~::**

By: Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

_Use me as you will,_

_Pull my strings just for a thrill,_

_And I know I'll be ok,_

_Though my skies are turning gray…_

_I will never let you fall,_

_I'll stand up with you forever._

_I'll be there for you through it all,_

_Even if saving you sends me to heaven._

_---_

I feel bad for Kanda, poor guy, got three petals plucked and is having some strong separation anxiety going on XD

And the Allen hunt begins! Kyaaa mah BaKanda is so romantically heroic! XD 3 anyways, this is so fun to covert from rp to a story, I hope I'm making you as epic as you were in the rp, mah BaKanda, though its truly hard to capture your greatness ~fan girls~ X3

I hope I can keep up this sort of pace, an update each week or two, that'll be great. I hope you guys can bear with me whenever I don't update when I should, I promise you I will never abandon this story!

Oh and by the way, the song lyrics at the end of each chapter are supposed to convey the feeling of a certain person in said chapter. So for instance, last chapter the song Broken by Seether with Amy Lee was supposed to show how Kanda felt incomplete without Allen. This chapter, well, you figure it out, I'll give you a hint, tis Kanda's POV again. X3

(Ps: all the songs I post at the end of each chapter are really epic and full of Yullen greatness! Check them out if you're bored or anything. They're what I listen to as I write this story)

~Ulqy-chan ish OUT, oh and DUN KILL ME FOR HURTING KANDA D: if you are mad at me now...oh boy...wait till you see what happens to Allen *epic sweatdrop/fear* ....


	3. A Lonesome Clown

Ok so I'm trying my best to write as much as possible before any writers block hits meh XD lets hope I can do it~! Sorry this chapter took a while to get done, it's been a long week of school.

I noticed a lot of you reviewers are making death threats to Leverrier… *hushes you all* . just bear with him for a little bit longer ok? XD He'll get whats coming soon enough. :X

I'd like to thank all that review! It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside~! X3 Kyaaa~! *hugs you all* XD!

Oh! I have a good idea for a small activity you readers can do~ If you think you've found the most Yulleny song ever, give me the songs name and the artist (spelling counts big time!) in your reviews and if I think its good, I'll use the lyrics of it at the end of one of my chapters! I'll even mention your name and stuffs~ Though I don't know if any of you guys could possibly outmatch me, I'm the master at finding meaningful Yullen songs~ So anyways, on with the story.

Oh and for those who are wondering… There shall be Allen Walker in this chapter!

I do not own D. Gray-Man.

**::~Sacrifice~::**

_True love is laced with sacrifices._

**Chapter Three: A Lonesome Clown**

"Have you heard? A strange boy with white hair is staying in that deserted old building! He's as pale as a ghost too. I think he has something to do with those dissapearances!" A woman whispered to her friend.

"Nonsense! Get your facts straight, when he appeared the dissapearances stopped! I think he helped. You and your superstitious mind…" the friend lectured, they were both walking down the stone road/walkway to get some food from the market.

Allen let out a sigh.

_So I've become the highlight of today's chatter, huh…_

The cursed boy sat on the roof-top of one of the tall buildings, swinging his legs over the side and watching as normal people lived normal lives. The two women were walking right under his perch when they had said that.

Of course, the deserted building those two women had spoken of was an Akuma case that Allen happily embraced.

It temporarily calmed him. It reminded him of the days where Akuma were all that he had, all that he lived and fought for.

…_and now they are again._

A small tingling sensation emerged in his left arm, and Allen almost hit himself for being so stupid.

_No that's not true. I made a vow and I'll stick to it. Not all of me lives for Akuma. Just half._

"Sorry" Allen said quietly to his Innocence, he was interrupted by a hollow, echo-y voice that sent chills down his spine.

"_You know, if people overhear you speaking to your left arm, they'll think you're crazy, boy."_

Allen huffed, he really wasn't in the mood for this.

_Yeah, well having a voice in my head tell me that fact kinda supports their theory, don't you think, 14__th__?_

There was a defeated silence, and Allen would have smirked victoriously had he not just degraded himself in order to win an argument with the Noah in him.

Allen tore his gaze away from the town below him, turning it upwards at the setting sun.

_I'll… I can still help the Order indirectly by taking out Akuma as I travel…I'm still fighting for them._

_Just…alone._

Letting out a long sigh, Allen brought his legs back onto the roof and stood up, staring back out towards the sun as it disappeared.

"Time to move locations…" he said to himself under his breath, grabbing his small bag that lay beside him. He then walked away, disappearing along with the light of the sun.

::

Kanda marched into his room, giving the guard that was sent in to take away three petals quite a scare. The poor guard must have been new if he hadn't known that plucking three petals off the samurais life force would bring the exorcist running, death aura surrounding him, back his way.

The samurai slammed the door behind him and drew Mugen, successfully beating the man into a bloody pulp with the hilt and the flat of the blade. Though Kanda wanted to just slice the mans neck and murder him, he knew that if he did that he wouldn't be welcome in the Order, even worse he'd be arrested.

At the moment, all he really needed to focus on was getting the idiotic Moyashi back in the Order, having central guards chasing after him trying to lock him up wouldn't make the job any easier.

The samurai grabbed the beaten guard by his collar and opened his door again, revealing a very worried, frightened Lenalee outside. He walked all the way out and dumped the guard unceremoniously onto the ground. He walked back in, and Lenalee took small baby steps towards the now open door of Yuu Kanda's room.

"Uh…Kanda…?" she asked quietly, almost afraid to look around in his room. She knew that in all her years of knowing him, his room was his sanctuary, at least that was what she thought it was to him. She felt very rude just being able to see it.

"What?" Kanda asked over his shoulder as he gathered a few things. He glanced over at the hourglass that held the lotus, hissing in annoyance and some defeat at the sight of three freshly plucked petals laying on the bottom. This now left him with only three petals that were sustaining his life.

"Will you…be ok?" Lenalee questioned, eyeing the samurai as he stuffed the hourglass holding his lotus into a bag. There was no way in hell that he was going to leave this here at the mercy of Leverrier.

"Che. I'm fine. Let's go, I have an idea on how to find that idiot Moyashi faster." Kanda said, remembering a certain distressed golden golem that was moping around in the abandoned exorcists room. Lenalee only nodded and stepped back as the samurai came out of his room and closed the door, locking it behind him and placing the key in one of his uniforms many pockets.

Kanda barged into Allen's room once more. Of course, there were still remains of the boy's door in the enterance which Kanda had destroyed to see if the exorcist was inside. As expected, the golden golem dubbed Timcanpy was mourning its masters disappearance by pathetically wailing (silently since it had no voice) on Allen's pillow.

The samurai put down the boy's exorcist coat that he had been holding onto since he saw it folded up, and roughly grabbed Timcanpy by its long tail, dragging it out of the room and down the hallway, towards the waterways that secretly file out exorcists and members from the Order.

"Stop struggling, you're going to help us find the Moyashi." Kanda ordered at the flailing golem. Timcanpy immediately stopped and perked up.

Allen never said anything about not looking for him.

The golden golem nodded its body then fluttered, the samurai releasing its tail. Timcanpy shot ahead and began its job, knowing what Kanda wanted, and started trying to track Allen Walker.

Timcanpy stiffened its body in one direction, it was then that Kanda smirked.

"Ah, so he's in that direction." the samurai whispered, glancing over at Lenalee. She nodded and a small smile formed. With Timcanpy they'd find Allen in no time.

::

Another explosion lighted up the dark sky, illuminating the boys surroundings temporarily, revealing more orb shaped creatures all around him amongst the crumbled remains of a building. Allen's red eye glowed and zoomed in on the one behind the ambush. A level three hiding within the forest of level ones.

"Stupid boy! You actually think you can beat us!? Hah!" the human-like level three pointed a sharp index finger at Allen. "Fire! Kill him! He has Innocence!"

Allen scoffed and let Crowned Clown do its job, covering him up in its large silky white cape, blocking the rain of bullets fired from the level ones cannons. He then allowed the cape to shift and jolt out into many spikes, stabbing through all the level ones expertly. The level three barely had time to dodge, getting stabbed through one of its slender legs, causing it to curse loudly. The spike that had lodged itself in the level three's leg then wrapped around the pierced limb and pulled it downward towards Allen who readied his claw, slashing horizontally as soon as the helpless Akuma was in range.

Allen watched as the level three's soul drifted off contently, therefore dismissing his left eyes activation. Allen glanced around the darkness even though his eye no longer detected anything to make sure there were no more akuma. Once satisfied, he stored his Innocence away back into the form of a normal, well mostly normal, left arm.

Though Allen was very tired, he knew that if he waited till day to travel, he would have more chances of running into Order members, and he couldn't have that.

_I wonder how everyone's doing…_

Allen gazed up at the stars, sighing lightly.

_Lenalee's probably still serving drinks for the entire order practically…_

_Lavi is most likely ducking out on his work and then getting punished by an angry Bookman._

_Krory would be freaking out over small things, poor guy, I hope someone comforts him in my place. That goes for Miranda too, she'll go suicidal if she isn't watched carefully..._

At that the young ex-exorcist sweat dropped and shook his head.

_Hah…wow I shouldn't think such things, it's bad luck._

Allen continued his unseen path forward.

_Link is probably stumped, Leverrier got rid of his need to take notes. I bet he could write a novel with all that material he has._

_And Kanda…I bet he's still eating soba every day._

A small flashback graced Allen of how just before he left, Kanda had bombarded him with a good amount of mitarashi dango.

_Well…never mind._

_Kanda is probably…causing some poor finder that's new to the Order to have a heart attack out of fear or something._

For some cruel reason the thought of that happening made the boy chuckle.

_Yeah I bet he's done that._

The small moment of happiness left Allen, and he continued the rest of his walk without another thought of the Black Order's members in order to save himself from regret

---

**Confession (What's Inside My Head): ****by Red**

_I confess I'm always afraid,_

_Always ashamed,_

_Of what's inside me._

_I confess I'm always afraid,_

_Always ashamed,_

_Of what's inside my head._

---

Ok excuse me for my language in advance but…that was a bitch to write D: I hope it turned out ok…

Anyways… I'm tired, enjoy the latest chapter! I might be slowing down with updating so bear with me my lovely readers! Ulqy-chan shall prevail against the dreaded writers block and awful school! RAWR~!

Ulqy-chan OUT~!

(Oh and don't forget to submit songs~)


	4. Deception

Alright! Thanks so much for submitting songs everyone! I realized a lot of you have the same taste in music that I do, same bands and all, though I'll admit a few songs that were submitted were OUT there. Anyways, keep it up.

I'm sorry last chapter was short, I'll try to keep that my shortest though I cant keep any promises, I really just wanted to get that uploaded, so sorry D:

On with the story~! Kanda's epic search begins! Which reminds me…

This story is dedicated to my one and only BaKanda, SolitaryLotus, I love her so much! She played as Kanda in an RP to create this story you read here. She's an awesome writer too, so go and check out her stories on here. That's right, GO RIGHT NOW! *threatens* o.o;; Anyways…

Never forget, Kanda, your Moyashi loves you! X3

I dun own D. Gray-Man, if I did I'd die from shock before I'd be able to do anything in that position.

**::~Sacrifice~::**

_True love is laced with sacrifices._

**Chapter Four: Deception**

Kanda wasted no time, tailing the golden golem that was flying ahead of him like his life depended on it. Lenalee followed him expertly, the crimson rings around her ankles jingling with each step.

They had just left the Black Order. Unfortunately just as they did that, the building was ordered by Leverrier to go on a lock down. No one can go in, or come out until further notice. Even if Kanda or Lenalee had known that, they both desperately wanted Allen back. No lock down was going to make them hesitate.

Timcanpy started to turn a little towards the right.

_Damn it, Moyashi, stop changing locations! Stay f*cking still so we can catch you._

Kanda picked up the pace even more. The last thing he needed was to end up chasing Allen all the way around the world.

::

Several phones rang in the large dark room. The large man in a rocking chair managed to answer all of them with an ungodly skill, a constant grin plastered on his tinted face.

"Ah! Yes, yes~! That will do"

"Good evening. Oh? Yes, I can make arrangements."

"Stay in that location until you attract attention, then leave before they send Exorcists."

The Millennium Earl let out a tired sigh, hanging up the 3 telephones that he managed to talk into all at once with three different people. Humans that worked for him in exchange for money. They helped with the creation of Akuma.

"Master Earl." a level three Akuma bowed obediently in front of its creator.

"Hm? What is it, my dear weapon?" the large man turned the best he could in the chair to look at the demon.

"The Black Order has been put into lockdown." the Akuma reported.

"Ah, good! But..is that all you've come to tell me?"

"No. There has also been sightings of our enemy, Allen Walker. I believe your plan is moving fast, master. Before he is retrieved, I suggest you make your appearance." the Akuma said with a lowered head.

"Oh! How exciting! So it all worked out after all!" the man laughed, standing from the chair and clapping his hands together gleefully. "I'll set out right away! Where was it that he was last spotted?"

"In Paris." the level three replied.

"Ah. Thank you."

With that, the Earl began to shift forms, the large body peeling off of him like a large suit. This revealed a more physically fit, younger human looking man. He was wearing clothes that greatly resemble the fatter Earl's attire, only they were fit perfectly onto the man.

With a tip of his black hat, the Millennium Earl took his leave, disappearing by means of an Ark door.

::

A loud growl sounded through the empty building, followed by a whimper of pain.

"Ah…this is killing me…" Allen whined.

The boy rubbed his stomach with a defeated look. He hadn't eaten ever since the night before he left the Order.

Another growl.

"Ugh." the ex-exorcist groaned and drew his knees up to his chest, arms wrapped around them tightly. He rested his forehead on his kneecaps, sighing heavily.

"This sucks."

The more he used his Innocence to slay Akuma, the more hungry he got. His Innocence, after all, was the culprit of his large appetite. Though despite all of this, Allen didn't want to try and get food. He didn't have the will to.

"_You're the worst host ever, boy." _The 14th complained. Since they shared bodies, the hunger was affecting him too.

"Why, thank you."Allen said with a smile. There was no need to keep his conversations with the 14th in his head here. Where he was in Paris was just heavily attacked by Akuma. No one lived in these parts anymore.

"If I'm such a bad host maybe you should just give up and fade away." Allen suggested with a small smirk. Boy, this hunger was annoying but if it meant the 14th was in pain too, it was worth it. Allen loved moments where he was in control.

Especially when he was 'controlling' the thing that was said to soon erode him away and control HIM.

::

A rustling sound caused the samurai to whirl around sharply, eyes darting and scanning the trees behind him. Lenalee skid to a stop, turning to glance at Kanda.

"Kanda, is everything o-"

"Shh. We're being followed." the midnight blue haired exorcist ordered under his breath. Lenalee silently nodded in understanding.

Another rustle.

In a quick motion, Kanda unsheathed Mugen and swept his index and middle finger down the flat of the blade, activating the Innocence. Then, let the blade dance horizontally across the air, slicing at nothing.

"Hells Insects!" Kanda shouted, followed by another command. "Show yourself, you bastard!"

The Hells Insects that formed from Mugen shot forward and ate away at the trees and everything else in their path.

"Aha…looks like you found me." A level three Akuma chuckled, emerging from a tree that was becoming prey to the Insects. The Akuma lifted a finger and flicked the creatures away easily. "Exorcists sure are annoying." The Akuma stated with a skeletal grin.

"So are Akuma." Kanda stated plainly. He had no time for this. A painful feeling hit the samurai; Allen could be getting further away by the second. He _had _to hurry.

Kanda lunged forward with Mugen, leaping up and falling down towards the Akuma, aiming a vertical slash at the creatures head with his sword.

"Haha! Stupid exorcist!" the Akuma cackled as it extended one arm, sliding to the side to dodge Kanda's blade. An eerie green smoke started to rise from the palm of the Akuma's hand, heading for the samurai.

A harsh gust of wind took both the Akuma's and Kanda's attention momentarily. Lenalee, with her activated Dark Boots, had blown away the odd smoke. Lenalee hovered above the Akuma, charging up the strange butterfly wings at the tip of her boot's heels before zipping downward, aiming a well made kick at the creatures head.

Kanda stepped back as the Akuma was thrown into the ground by Lenalee's kick. A small creator in the ground served as the Akuma's grave as the samurai jumped down at the fallen creature, stabbing down at it's head before the Akuma could recover. Mugen made a satisfying connection with the Akuma's head, piercing it.

"Hehe…Foolish exor…cists…You're after that white haired brat aren't you? Ha!" The level three hacked, rather than cackled now that his head was split in two. Kanda's eyes widened.

_He knows about the Moyashi?_

"Where." is all the samurai asked.

"Haha…I'm not supposed to tell you…exorcists…but it doesn't matter anymore…master Earl is there already…in Paris. Your friend wont know what hit him!" the Akuma giggled one last time before its laughter was harshly interrupted by Mugen, slicing its entire body in two.

"Shut up and disappear." Kanda said with a hiss, withdrawing Mugen and jumping away just as the Akuma exploded.

Lenalee floated softly downwards, touching her feet on the ground with a soft tap and deactivating her Innocence.

"Kanda, are you alright?" she asked carefully, peering over at the samurai.

"Che. We're going to Paris. Moyashi's there and so is the Earl."

::

It was all too perfect. This time he'd win for sure.

The Earl watched from the shadows, peering up at a large building. On one of the edges of the roof of that building was Allen Walker. It was just too perfect.

_I'll finish what I should have a long time ago, right now._

Several Akuma formed around the human-looking Millennium Earl, awaiting orders from their master. A handful of level one's and a single level two.

"Pretend to shoot at me once I give you the signal, dearest Akuma. Attract the exorcist boy then once he attacks, let him destroy you. I will deal with the rest." the Earl said to the creatures. They all grunted or nodded in understanding.

::

A whirl of gears caused Allen to jolt into awareness, darting his eyes over in one direction. His left eye guided him and revealed to him several Akuma with their human souls chained to the creatures bodies.

_I swear I cleared this city. There shouldn't be people OR Akuma here…_

Despite that, Allen jumped over a flight of stairs. He landed gracefully and jumped again to skip the next pair, descending down the building twice as fast.

Once outside, Allen ran down the deserted streets towards where his left eye saw the Akuma.

Several gunshots reached Allen's ears.

_What...or who could they be attacking? No one should be here!_

Turning down into an alley, Allen spotted a man running from several level one's while a level two surveyed the lower levels. The level two immediately spotted Allen and charged at the boy.

_Oh no you don't!_

In a whirl of white, Allen activated Crown Clown and defeated the level two in a fast swipe of his claw. He then charged forward just in time to cover the fleeing man with his cape as several bullets rained down on them.

_Ah, good I made it in time._

Allen uncovered both himself and the man from the cape and shot out several white strips at the level ones, piercing them and causing them to explode. Mission accomplished.

"Are you alright?" Allen asked the terrified man quickly, left eye deactivating and deeming it safe again.

"I-I'm fine, my boy. But…what in the world were those things!? What happened to this city!? A-and…" with a shaky finger the man pointed at Allen's activated left hand. "..w-what are you?!"

Allen sighed. So the man was ok. "Those 'things' were Akuma. This city got deserted because of them…" Allen deactivated his Innocence, smiling apologetically at the man for scaring him. "I'm an exorcist-..well…I was one." the boy paused for a moment, letting the man process the information and or ask questions. He got none. The man was just staring at him with an odd expression Allen couldn't identify.

_Strange, usually people go nuts and have a question asking spree._

"You…shouldn't be out here. It's dangerous. Why ARE you here anyways? This city has been deserted for a week. You should have heard that it was-"

"-I'm here for…business." the man cut in quickly, pushing up his glasses with a gloved hand. Allen raised an eyebrow, trying to figure out why he was feeling chills of alertness run down his spine.

"W-well…you should stay with me until a train comes by here. One should come tomorrow morning. I'll protect you till then in case more Akuma show up, alright?" Allen said while looking out at the setting sun.

::

The man smiled, nodding in agreement to the white haired boy.

"by the way…what's your name?" he asked the boy, already knowing the answer.

"Oh! Ha, I'm sorry about that. My name's Allen Walker." Allen said with a small smile.

"Ah." was all the man said.

"Follow me, I've been staying in the clock tower. It's not too far from here." Allen said as he began to lead the man down the streets.

_This is all too perfect._

As Allen led him to the tower, the Earl couldn't help but grin widely behind the boys back.

---

**So Cold: ****by Breaking Benjamin**

_Crowded streets are cleared away,_

_One by one._

_Hollow heroes separate,_

_As they run._

_You're so cold._

_Keep your hand in mine._

_Wise men wonder while,_

_strong men die._

---

Gosh! That was freaking hard to write and took FOREVER. *holds flashlight in front of my face and repeats* For…ev..er. *like in The Sandlot* ANYWAYS.

Sorry it took so long to finish! I was…ahem…caught up in other things…

School.

Love.

All that jazz.

I hope you guys didn't forget about me D:

Please review! And YES I am cruel for leaving it at a cliffy aren't I?

Ulqy-chan, OUT.


	5. Connections

MitarashiiDango: GAHH CLIFFY!! *stabs you* GAH EARL! *stabs Earl* screw Leverrier. LOCKDOWN!? WTF!? How are the exorcists supposed to obliterate Akuma huh!? GAH!!

Me: AH! *is stabbed, but somehow manages to still type up this chapter while slowly bleeding* D: I'm sorry! *the Earl is defeated epically by you* :O!! Oh my GOD! YOU KILLED THE EARL! *cheers* Anyways… The lockdown is…well…you'll find out~ But yeah Leverrier will get…uh…*coughs* 'screwed' eventually. And not in the good way.

Moving on…

I'm smelling a nice reunion under odd circumstances soon!

I'll repeat this many times, so get used to it readers! This story is dedicated to SolitaryLotus, aka: BaKanda, Slowpoke, Yuu-chan, you get the point~ *giggles* She's gonna kill me in her review… *runs and hides*

She is an amazing person and an amazing writer, so go check out her stuff on here! Especially** Fallen**, that's a great Yullen story~ It's full of angst and Yullen goodness. XD

I don't own D. Gray-Man, it's too epic for me to handle.

**::~Sacrifice~::**

_True love is laced with sacrifices._

**Chapter 5: Connections**

Kanda's grip on Mugen's hilt tightened as he watched the blur of scenery whirl by the window due to the speed the train was traveling. Lenalee sat next to him, hands fiddling with the hem of her skirt. She could feel how tense it was around her comrade. She didn't blame him.

The Earl was in Paris.

Maybe…just maybe, they could collect Allen, and together as a team…

They could end the war once and for all by defeating that wretched man.

Timcanpy fluttered around the train cabin, causing many people to stare. The poor golem missed it's master dearly.

"Oi, stupid golem, get back over here." Kanda ordered with a scoff, shifting in his seat with unease. Ever since they got on the train to get to Paris a chilling, sinking sensation has been with him. Allen was in danger.

Timcanpy reluctantly returned to the two exorcists. It landed on Kanda's head, surprisingly. The samurai tried to glare at the being that was sitting on his head but since it was 'out of range' he gave up shortly after, letting out a soft "Che".

::

It was dark.

The man he saved just a while ago was now sleeping over in a corner of the deserted building.

…_Is he really sleeping?_

Allen narrowed his eyes, trying to see through the darkness to figure out if the man was sleeping or not.

No luck. The man's face was shrouded with shadows, the only light on his face was the light his small glasses were picking up.

_It's too hard to tell…_

Allen turned his head away to look back out the broken window he was sitting by. His eyelids felt heavy from lack of sleep, and for a moment Allen was tempted to just lay down and let his body get what it wanted.

_No! I cant, I have to stay awake and protec-_

"_-You're such a foolish boy, he isn't-"_

_-Shut up. I didn't ask for your opinion. _Allen mentally cut in. He wasn't going to let the 14th try and derange his already tired mind.

"_Idiot! That isn't a man-"_

_-I'm not listening._

The 14th was silent. Allen had successfully blocked him out.

_Good riddance._

Thankfully, Allen gained something from that small mental fight. Now he was wide awake.

_Now to see if that lasts me the night…_

::

It was no use. No matter how long he waited, or how tired the boy looked, Allen did not fall asleep.

_Damn boy! _The Earl glared at the ex-exorcist from behind his glasses. He was getting quite annoyed with having to pretend to sleep.

_It's fine…I'll get him once he's not so alert…I can take my time. The only exorcists that are out on the field are Lenalee Lee and Kanda Yuu. At least Leverrier followed orders and put the Black Order on lockdown. Ha! Now no one else can help._

The Earl let one gloved hand twitch with excitement.

_I'll finish off the samurai and the little girl easily. As soon as I have Allen Walkers head on a platter!_

::

An hour passed in silence.

Allen leaned his back against the wall, gazing out at the stars. That blast of awake-ness wore off fast. Now he could barely keep his eyes open.

_I guess…a little nap wont hurt…_

The ex-exorcist closed his eyes slowly.

_Be...sides…if an Akuma comes…my…left eye will…wake me up._

A wave of sleep rushed over Allen, and he allowed it. His body was too tired to fight it back anyways.

::

_Aha! He finally fell asleep! _

The Earl grinned, preparing to stand and go over to the boy quietly, then behead the little brat in his sleep.

::

Kanda tensed further. Something wasn't right. Something bad was about to happen.

_No…damn it! _

Kanda's thoughts drifted to Allen.

_Baka Moyashi!_

::

_**Baka Moyashi!**_

"Ah!" Allen jolted awake, blinking rapidly to regain his vision before darting his eyes around the room.

_I swear…I heard Kanda. He even called me that stupid nickname…Hmph!_

Allen scowled at the dark room, sparing the man in the corner a glance.

_Did he move?_

Allen focused harder on the mans form. He HAD moved. He was more ridged too, maybe he was having a bad dream…it was too dark to tell.

_It's better to just leave him alone…_

Allen let out a sigh, glancing over out the window and at the sky again.

_For me to hear KANDA'S voice…jeez I must be losing it._

"BaKanda…" Allen whispered to himself, deciding it was better to stay awake now that he was apparently losing his mind.

::

The samurai was welcomed with a wave of relief. Whatever was going to happen, didn't. Kanda glanced over at Lenalee, who was sound asleep laying across two seats. She was curled up slightly and was using her pack of necessities as a pillow.

_She shouldn't have come. Komui's probably worried sick._

A ring of a golem interrupted Kanda from his thoughts, causing the samurai to frown at the black radio golem that managed to emerge from his pocket.

"Yes?" Kanda mumbled angrily.

"Ah! Thank goodness! I've been worried about you two! You left without a word! Is Lenalee ok? Are YOU ok?" Speak of the devil. Komui's voice caused Kanda's frown to grow.

"Che. We're fine. Why are you calling?"

"…Well…it's been pretty rough ever since Allen left, and actually…right around when you and Lenalee left, Leverrier put the Order on a lockdown. I'm afraid I cant do anything. He's taken complete control."

There was a pause before Komui's voice returned, more hushed.

"He's been stopping all phone calls and any other communication with people outside the Order. I'm actually calling you from a bathroom stall so I don't get caught." the supervisors voice lowered to a whisper.

"That's disgusting." Kanda retorted with a glare at the golem.

The other end went quiet for a moment, and Kanda intensified his glare.

"…Oi. Idiot supervisor…?" the samurai tilted his head curiously. Did Komui hang up?

"…Ah… hold on, someone's coming…I have to go!" and with that, the golem clicked, indicating the call was ended.

"Che…idiot." Kanda muttered then stashed his golem away in a pocket.

_So the Order's on lockdown…that'll make things interesting. _

Kanda thought with a small smirk.

::

_Damn it! That stupid boy woke up! He's too alert now for any of my attacks to get him. How annoying. _

The Earl mused, uncomfortably positioned since he had to quickly stop what he was doing when Allen jolted awake.

_My patience is running thin…_

::

For Allen, the night seemed to be lasting forever, so the first sight of sunlight caused him to perk up drastically.

_Finally…_

After a few calculations, Allen determined that the train should be arriving within an hour. The boy stood from his spot against the wall and stretched, wincing. He mentally slapped himself for sitting in the same position for the entire night.

_I should probably wake up the man…_

Allen carefully walked over to the man, extending a cautious hand to tap his shoulder.

"Excuse me, but the train should be here soon." Allen said politely. The man seemed to wake up instantly.

_W-well…that was easy._

"Hm? Oh, yes! The train." the man said, standing up and fixing his clothes.

"…Yeah…we should probably get moving and go to the station to wait for it. It's a long walk and I'm not exactly sure what time it is, and when exactly the train comes."

"Alright. Lead the way" the man insisted. Allen nodded and began guiding the man out the building and towards the train station. They walked in silence as Allen tried his best to find his way around the deserted, crumbling city.

_Ah…shoot! Don't tell me I'm…_

Allen took a turn, only to end up in a dark alley. A dead end.

…_lost._

The boy let out a huff and glanced over his shoulder apologetically. "I'm sorry…I'm just a little turned around. I'll bring you to the station, I promise." Allen reassured the man, but it looked like he didn't mind the detour at all. Allen could have sworn he was grinning as he turned to look at him.

Allen tried going down another street, but also ran into another alley.

"Damn it. Why do I ALWAYS get lost…?" the ex-exorcist muttered to himself, trying another route.

More time passed, as Allen got more and more lost.

::

_This is it…he's off guard and lost. Ha!_

With a quick motion, the Earl formed a large purple orb in his gloved hand, but kept his human appearance just in case. In a flash, the Earl threw the orb forward at Allen's back.

_Die, little clown!_

::

A tingling sensation hit Allen at full force and he quickly spun on his heels just in time to see an orb heading his way. In a whirl of white, his Innocence activated and he managed to bring up his claw to parry the orb. However, he failed to fully block it and felt a painful crack in his ribs as it made contact, getting thrown backwards into a building.

_S-shit! What the hell was that!?_

Dazed and confused, Allen tried to stand back up from the rubble. Another orb welcomed his vision as he stood. Allen didn't have enough time to block this one at all, and Crown Clown was just as confused so no cape came to his rescue.

Another hard impact with brick, some of the wall crumbled and fell on top of the ex-exorcist.

::

Kanda stood up from his seat abruptly, startling one lady that was sitting near him. Lenalee woke up with a start due to the noise, looking up at Kanda with a worried expression. He didn't speak.

The train was 5 minutes away from Paris. How come he was so impatient? Just FIVE minutes.

_Stupid Moyashi! You better not roll over and die!_

::

Allen winced, tasting blood in his mouth. He didn't want to move.

Well…he did. He just couldn't. Lack of sleep and food was catching up to him. It was too painful to keep his Innocence activated. In fact, in a whirl, the black claw and white manipulative cloth disappeared.

_W-well…that's tha-_

_**-Stupid Moyashi! You better not roll over and die!**_

_K-Kanda…?_

Allen squeezed his eyes shut, just in time to feel a vice grip wrap around his neck, lifting him from the rubble.

::

Kanda immediately rushed out of the train as soon as it stopped, Lenalee following him closely. They had made it. Now all he had to do was find Allen before the Earl did.

Timcanpy shot ahead, traveling quickly and guiding the two exorcists.

::

"I'll kill you here and now…foolish boy." an unfamiliar voice chuckled. Allen tried to open his eyes but they felt sealed shut. There was a long pause.

The next sensation was even more unpleasant, the cold feeling of a blade pressed up against the side of his neck.

_Ah…move Allen…move!_

Allen's left arm twitched, but other than that remained limp at his side.

"Allen-kun?!" a female voice cut through Allen's hazy mind.

_Lenalee?_

"Damn. So they're here already." the unfamiliar voice cursed and withdrew the blade as more calls from Lenalee got closer. Allen felt himself get dropped, hitting the ground painfully.

::

_I'll just destroy them all at once. _The Earl decided, stepping away from the fallen Allen and making his large sword disappear from his hand. He took off his top hat and put on a shocked expression, kneeling beside Allen just as Kanda and Lenalee came around the corner.

"Help! Somebody! He's hurt!" the Earl pleaded.

::

Kanda didn't hesitate. As soon as he made the turn with Timcanpy in the lead and he caught sight of two figures, he jolted ahead. Forget that random guy standing near him. He found Allen.

He could identify that brat from a mile away.

Old man hair.

Stupid red pentacle on his forehead.

Disgusting left hand.

Kanda knew it all too well.

"Moyashi!"

---

**Never Alone: ****By Barlow Girls**

_I cried out with no reply._

_And I can't feel you by my side._

_So I hold tight to what I know;_

_You're here._

_And I'm never alone._

---

AHA! Take that! Two Cliffies in a row! I'm so evil!

I'm glad I'm back on a roll again. Maybe this fast update will make up for how long it took me to write the last chapter. Well…maybe not. Whatever.

I was in total beast mode while typing this so if there are stupid mistakes, ignore them. Heh o.o;;

REVIEW! It makes me happy. A happy writer= a happy reader! Haha! Just made that up…

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Oh and in case I don't upload fast enough… HAPPY EARLY NEW YEARS! *throws confetti and dances in a circle by my self* …yeah.

Ulqy-chan, OUT!


	6. Truth

So~ I'm trying my best to update like crazy…if you can tell. I'm working my butt off!

MitarashiiDango: cliffy. AGAIN?! *stabs you again* ...thinks for a moment. *stabs you again for good measure* NO THE FUNKEH EARL! EVILSTUPIDSONUVA!YAYS KANDA APPEEARRS~ like SUPERMAN! GYAHAHA. yayss Leverrier is gonna get screwed in a bad way!

SolitaryLotus: OMG MOYASHI! That chapter was EPIC! SUCH a good job. As always. ^^ I can't WAIT to see how the next part turns out xD Can someone say pwnage? Oh and...*kicks MitarashiiDango* DON'T HURT MY MOYASHI! That's MY job...except...it might only hurt a little and with that kind of pain everyone wins...*ahem* - BaKanda

Me: Thankies! X3 Wellz here is the next part. Heh. o.o;; *says 'pwnage'* Happy? XD and OMG *is epically protected by SolitaryLotus from the double stab* … o.o!! *spazzes and melts into Moyashi goo* B-BaKanda…don't make that public! *epic blush* - Moyashi

I don't own D. Gray-Man. I'm not amazing enough to think of such epic stuff as Katsura Hoshino.

**::~Sacrifice~::**

_True love is laced with sacrifices._

**Chapter Six: Truth**

"_**Help! Somebody! He's hurt!" **_Allen could make out the mans pleading tone. It was the same voice that said: _**"I'll kill you here and now…foolish boy."**_

_Tch! Yeah right, I'm hurt because of you!_

Allen moved to get up, but everything was still spinning from his run in with two brick walls.

"Moyashi!" a voice yelled over to him.

_Oh no. Now I'm hearing Kanda's voice again._

He managed to make out familiar black boots.

_Wait…what?_

Allen blinked several times, looking up from his spot on the ground to see the raven haired exorcist looming over him.

"Kanda?" It couldn't be him. Why the hell was Kanda here?

::

Kanda became aware of the strange man, soon after surveying over Allen, who looked like a train just hit him. The samurai quickly whirled and grabbed the man by his neck, pinning him to the nearest wall. Lenalee on the other hand, remained by Allen, helping the dazed boy stand.

"Who did this?!" Kanda demanded from the frightened man in his grasp.

"I-it was strange things! They were attacking me and he protected me! But then he got hit! Oh please release me!" the man begged.

Kanda narrowed his eyes into slits. "Got hit? You mean shot?"

_Akuma? Something doesn't feel right._

_Those weren't Akuma bullet wounds._

::

Allen managed to register their conversation, quickly realizing that Kanda was in danger.

_Ah…crap…Kanda get away…he's…_

"Kanda...get away fro-"

In a whirl, the man Kanda WAS pinning against the wall was now the recognizable Millennium Earl. Since the large man had no neck when in this form, Kanda's grip was lost. Tables were turned when the Earl grabbed the samurais neck in a flash.

"_I TRIED to tell you." _was the 14th's only retort. Allen ignored it, eyes fixated on the man he 'saved' from Akuma yesterday. The Millennium Earl?

_I'm an idiot._

::

_What?!_

Kanda glared at the Earl with all his might, not really minding the choking grip he had on his throat. The Earl extended a gloved hand and charged up a purple orb while holding Kanda still with his other hand.

"Young lady~" The Earl chuckled, sparing a yellow eyed glance at Lenalee. "Try anything with those boots of yours, and your friend here will lose his head!"

Lenalee bit her lower lip, tightening her hold on Allen.

"Che. You picked the worst hostage, Earl. Go on and kick this guys ass, Lenalee." Kanda huffed, hand straying to Mugen's hilt.

He didn't mind if he got a face full of Noah energy.

_I'll live._

It was then that Kanda remembered a key detail. His lotus was in his bag.

_Ah…that's not good. Change of plans._

"Lenalee. Take the Moyashi and my stuff somewhere safe. I'll get back to you right after I'm done beating this guys ass." Kanda declared without shame. He was being held by the neck but still managed to keep a normal tone as if it was nothing.

Timcanpy flew around Kanda and the Earl expectantly, getting a small 'you stay with me' command from the samurai. He'd need the golem to find out where Lenalee and Allen were anyways.

Lenalee hesitated before activating her boots in a flash. She tightened her hold around Allen and suddenly shot off, dashing to grab Kanda's bag before kicking off the ground and going completely air born.

If the Earl wasn't insulted earlier, he was definitely insulted now.

::

"Gah! Lenalee!" Allen quickly covered his mouth as more dizziness and the need to vomit hit him hard as Lenalee moved through the air extremely fast.

_T-too fast…_

"Ah! I'm sorry, Allen-kun! I forgot you weren't used to it…" Lenalee admitted with a small blush. She slowed down gradually to not make Allen even more sick.

::

"How interesting. What could be so important to you that's in that bag of yours, Yuu Kanda? Or should I say, Second Exorcist?" the Earl sneered.

…_how the hell does he know about that?_

"No response? You were talking fine earlier…" the Earl lifted Kanda up more, causing the samurai's feet to dangle above ground. Though Kanda was a master at keeping a stoic face, he had to admit--at least mentally--that he was running out of air.

Kanda made a move to draw Mugen.

_Guess I should start cleaning things up if I want to catch up to those two._

"That was a good move on your part; getting your lotus out of range. How smart, how smart~! 3" the Earl said with glee, bringing the orb in his other hand closer to the samurais face, illuminating it with purple light.

…_What!? How does he know about THAT too?!_

"How…the _hell_ do you know about the lotus!?" Kanda hissed out, eyes piercing into the Earl's.

"I know about your lovely lotus because your 'precious Order' is corrupt! Leverrier works for me! I made sure you were cut down considerably before leaving to fetch that little white haired rat! It was successful, or so I heard. You then took your life force with you so you could watch over it~ 3"

Kanda's eyes widened.

_I knew it!! Leverrier has been working for the Earl the whole time, no wonder he put the Order under lockdown!_

_He knew I was going to go after the bean sprout too....he didn't bother to stop me._

There was a pause. It seemed like the Earl was thinking deeply, but it was hard to tell.

"Next time I'll kill that girl and the boy at the same time. One of them always manages to spoil my plans." the Earl contemplated aloud.

"Che. Like I'd let you." Kanda hissed.

Quickly, in an acrobatic move, Kanda flipped and managed to kick the Earl square in the stomach. This caused the man to stumble backwards and his grip on Kanda's neck to be released. The samurai took his chance as soon as he landed to un-sheath Mugen and charge forward.

"Stupid exorcist!" the Earl declared, firing the already charged orb at the incoming Kanda Yuu.

Kanda easily moved aside to dodge the orb that was thrown at him. Bringing two hands to grasp Mugen's hilt, Kanda prepared to cleave through the Earl's large waist horizontally.

Mugen met with the Earl's large blade, making a loud clashing sound as the metal of the blades scraped against each other. Both swordsmen leaned forward in an attempt to push the other back and gain the upper hand.

Kanda was vaguely reminded of his battle with Skin Bolic. Why did he always end up fighting Noah that were bigger than him? Well. Skin was extremely slow.

_Ah well, let's see if his speed is matched with mine._

In a swift motion, Kanda disconnected Mugen from the Earl's blade and jumped backwards, landing with grace as he extended the arm that wasn't bearing a sword out, hand open.

"Mugen, Nigentou!" Kanda ordered, receiving an identical Mugen in his unoccupied hand.

The Earl charged forward, raising his large sword and swinging down at Kanda's head, intending to cleave it in two. Kanda easily brought his swords up in front of him, forming an X with the blades, and blocked the blow.

Kanda then forced the Earl's blade back, leaving the large man horribly open.

_Now!_

"Hakka tourou!" the samurai summoned, slashing out with both his blades to form eight crescent shaped beams of light. The beams formed together a flower looking attack as it zipped through the air and straight on the Earl, blowing the man backwards.

"Ah!" the Earl cried out, seemingly wounded, before regaining his balance. The ever present smile on the tinted face began to look more and more threatening. The Earl was angry.

"Che…" Kanda scoffed. Fighting the Earl wasn't so hard. It was all trial and error.

_I'll just hit him with every move I have until one makes him bleed. Then go on from there._

Kanda let a small smirk form as he fell into a stance, swords ready and glowing with blue energy.

::

Lenalee zipped through the sky, landing on a flat rooftop and putting down Kanda's bag. Allen detached himself from her on his own, still keeping a gloved hand over his mouth.

_G-gosh…_

"Stay here." Lenalee ordered, turning and preparing to leap back into the sky, a quick hold on her wrist stopped her.

"I can help too. I don't see why you retreated, Kanda needs both of us. This is the Millennium Earl we're dealing with!" Allen said with a stern voice.

"Kanda told me to take you away. We're trying to protect you! Now let go and STAY HERE!" Lenalee yelled, causing Allen to let go of her wrist in shock. Lenalee never yelled at him like that before--well…she has, and that was right after she slapped him. It was better if he just did what she said.

"A-alright." he relented, taking a few steps back. Lenalee nodded and let off a small boost from her Innocence, making her go air born again.

::

Kanda charged forward, slashing both his blades out at the Earl, who blocked the two swords with his large one.

An odd spark of anger flew through the Earl's yellow eyes, and within a second Kanda felt a burning screeching sensation run down his entire body. It took him a moment to realize he was getting electrocuted.

Sparks flew from the Earl's sword down through both of Kanda's, shocking him. His entire body was crackling and flaring with electricity.

"Gah!" Kanda yelled in pain, but then clenched his teeth together. He wasn't going to give the Earl the satisfaction of making him scream in agony.

"Die, exorcist!" the Earl commanded. The electricity intensified.

"C-Che…afraid I can't. I still haven't found who I'm looking for. And besides…there's a certain white-haired sprout I still haven't beaten up for leaving yet." Kanda hissed, willing himself to flash a small smirk despite the incredible pain he was experiencing.

::

Allen left out a huff, sitting down on the cold stone. He was alone now. On a roof. With nothing but a glowing bag that apparently held Kanda's belongings in it.

_Wait…it's glowing?!_

Allen curiously pulled the bag over to him.

_A peek wont hurt. Besides…it's…_really_ glowing._

The ex-exorcist pulled the bag open, immediately catching sight of an hourglass. Within it was a shimmering lotus. The flower looked like it was dying though. It only had three petals left. Allen pulled the hourglass into his lap to further examine it.

There were several petals on the bottom. Three of them looked freshly picked. Others looked dead and shriveled.

_Why the _hell_ is Kanda carrying around a dying flower in a hourglass?_

Questions over Kanda's sanity started to rise. But Allen forgot that as he noticed one of the petals making up the flower was trembling. Was it about to fall off too?

_Is it a sign? I don't understand this at all…_

::

Kanda furiously tried to pull away his blades as the electricity continued to run through him due to the connection of metal. But this wasn't normal electricity. It was freezing his muscles and tearing away his skin. His uniform was already torn and burnt.

_Damn attack is just like Skin's._

"Enbu Kirikaze!" a female voice yelled.

In a blur, Kanda found himself thrown onto the ground by a strong wind. He quickly identified it as Lenalee's attack. The Earl was thrown back by the wind and through a nearby building.

Kanda used this opportunity to get back up and charge after the man, injuries already healing due to the lotus. The tattoo near his heart was half visible due to the considerably large tear near his shoulder in his uniform. Kanda gave the hovering Lenalee a glance and a nod of thanks before focusing back on the Earl.

Said Earl bounced back onto his feet, a deathly angry aura seeping off his body. But instead of doing what people usually do when angry beyond belief, the Earl had a jet black ark door opened behind him. He stepped backwards into it to retreat.

"Oh no you don't!" Kanda yelled after him, swinging one of his twin blades out as he ran. Hells insects shot forward from Mugen and after the disappearing Earl. The ark door shut just after his insects zipped inside.

Sure the Earl was getting away, Kanda had to admit he was pissed about that, but the fact that he gave the Earl crap to deal with even after his retreat was quite satisfying.

"Serves you right for trying to kill the Moyashi, you damned fat ass." Kanda whispered.

---

**Angels: ****by Within Temptation**

_Sparkling angel, I believe_

_You are my savior, In my time of need_

_Fallen angel, Tell me why_

_What is the reason; The thorn in your eye?_

_---_

Wewt! I totally just did that. Yes. I updated this story three times within three days.

I feel AWESOME.

Anyone hoping for a fourth? Cause I am.

Anyways. I was in total beast mode while typing this up (again) so if I made any major mistakes or something doesn't make any sense I'll probably just hope you guys can figure it out o.o;;

Heh…yeah it's near morning now.

I need sleep. Even if I'm WIDE awake.

Ulqy-chan, OUT!


	7. We All Have Faults

Internet died so I had nothing else to do on my computer besides type this up. So…

Yey? Anyways… I'm feeling an epic Yullen reunion coming soon.

I don't own D. Gray-Man. If I did I wouldn't be working on fanfics of it. I'd be updating the manga daily! Wouldn't that be awesome? *dreams*

**::~Sacrifice~::**

_True love is laced with sacrifices._

**Chapter Seven: We All Have Faults**

Several clouds passed by over head, darkening the deserted city of Paris. This also made the lotus Allen was examining stand out more. It was glowing brightly.

Allen blinked.

The petal that was trembling stopped.

_That was odd…I better put this back. _Allen carefully pushed the hourglass back into the small bag, doing his best to make it look undisturbed.

"Allen-Kun, are you still up there?" Lenalee's voice came from below. Allen perked up and went over to the edge of the flat roof, peering down to see a cheerful Lenalee Lee and a very disgruntled, burnt Kanda Yuu.

"Ye-yeah." he said stupidly, mentally hitting himself afterwards.

_Well…that was unnecessary. She can SEE I'm still here._

_Why am I such an idiot?_

"I'm coming up." Lenalee announced, activating her boots.

"Che. So the Moyashi's alright." Kanda grumbled. Lenalee suddenly grabbed Kanda around the waist, shooting up into the air with the help of her boots.

"Lenalee what are you--WHOA!" the samurai couldn't hide his surprise as he was dropped off on the roof beside Allen. Kanda quickly collected himself and glared at Allen as if daring him to comment.

Allen remained quiet, only eyeing Kanda curiously. Why was he here? Was there Innocence in Paris or something? Allen was sure he cleared the city and searched for any. He got rid of the Akuma problem pretty fast so there's no way Kanda and Lenalee were here on a mission.

A golden ball suddenly slammed into Allen's stomach, unfortunately the same place one of the Earls orbs hit. The white haired boy doubled over.

"Ah! Timcanpy you're killing meee!" Allen whined as Timcanpy slammed a second time into Allen's stomach.

"OW! Stop it! I get it, I get it! I left you behind, I'm sorry! OW" Timcanpy stopped its assault and swiftly had a mood change, nuzzling against Allen's face happily.

"Che. Control your damned golem Baka Moyashi."

"It's Allen." the boy managed to retort as he stood back up.

Kanda shot the younger boy the king of all glares, getting a silver eyed one in return.

"Oh don't start this, guys." Lenalee said with a scowl, stepping in between the two boys with her arms crossed.

::

Kanda looked at Lenalee, then at Allen, then off to the side with a frown.

To tell the truth, he was quite satisfied now. He found the Moyashi, learned valuable information about Leverrier, chased off the Earl AND gave him shit to deal with; aka Hells Insects, and to top it all off, had an immature argument with the Moyashi. Things were looking great.

Now to deal with the lockdown.

"Why are you guys here?"

That ruined the moment. Kanda blinked, looking back at Allen.

"We're here to save your ass and bring it back to headquarters. Idiot." the samurai stated angrily.

_Don't tell me he doesn't want to go back._

_I'll force him back if I have to._

::

_Back to headquarters? I cant. Leverrier…_

_I cant go back. I'll just be locked up and…_

_I CANT._

"I don't want to go back"

_I really do but…_

"What?" Kanda tensed. Lenalee blinked several times in surprise, turning to the white haired boy with a confused expression.

"I said I don't want to go back." Allen stated again. The air was tense.

_Lie to them. It's the only way to keep them safe._

"Well I'll DRAG your ass back if I have to, Baka Moyashi!" the samurai declared, hand drifting onto Mugen's hilt.

"Don't you get it? I'm your enemy! I don't WANT to go back with you…" the boy began.

_Lie._

"…You disgusting exorcists!" Allen shouted with malice. Lenalee took a step back in shock. Kanda tensed even more, taking a step closer to Allen. The ex-exorcist stood his ground.

"What the hell is your problem, BAKA Moyashi?!" Kanda yelled, and with a swipe of a hand grabbed hold of Allen's shirt collar.

"Kan-" Lenalee started, not liking where this was going.

"-Shut up." the samurai cut in, not even looking at the girl. Lenalee fell silent. This was all too shocking.

_Lie again._

Allen swallowed a painfully large lump in his throat before saying with as much fake hate as he could muster. "_YOU'RE_ my problem. I didn't ask for you to come after me!"

Actually, Allen was quite touched that the samurai had come for him. He had always strived to get the older exorcists approval. To be acknowledged by him.

::

There is no way this is Allen.

_Is it possible…the fourteenth got to him already?_

Kanda searched the younger boy's silver eyes. Sadly, no signs of the inner Noah were present. This was really Allen saying all of that.

It hurt.

The samurai soundly hit the boy across the face, keeping a good hold on his collar to keep him upright.

"Say that again. I _DARE_ you." Kanda hissed. His heart was pounding against his chest, He _needed_ Allen to come to his senses _now_. The samurai felt an odd feeling well up inside him.

Desperation.

"I don't want to go back. You should have just let me die. You wasted your time." Allen whispered, recovering from the punch to give Kanda a hardened stare.

The samurai snapped again, aiming another well made punch at the side of Allen's face.

"What the hell do you think you are!? Some sort of person who _NEVER_ deserves to be saved? You _WANT_ to die?! Well _F*CK IT_!" Kanda yelled, an inch away from the younger boys face. He then suddenly let go of the boy's collar, causing Allen to stumble back a little.

"To think that we risked everything for the likes of you! _BAKA_!" Kanda began again. He couldn't control himself anymore. His heart hurt beyond belief and it was uncontainable. Allen stared down at the ground as Lenalee kept looking at both of them. Her velvet eyes were glassy with tears.

"The bastard of a man Leverrier placed the Order under lockdown, you know that? We can't get back in. Think about Lenalee!" the raven haired exorcist motioned over at the trembling girl. Allen cringed ever so slightly, but did not look up. Kanda just continued on.

"She left her only living relative left in the world and risked never being able to return again _JUST TO SAVE YOUR ASS!!_" the pain was clear as day in Kanda's voice, and it cracked as he began once again. "And I…"

The samurai paused to collect himself. An odd stinging sensation in his eyes was making it hard to see.

"…I went to talk to Leverrier to find out why you left. He told me what he said to you. And you know what? That's _bullshit_!! You just relinquished control of the Ark to the _VERY MAN _who is _WORKING FOR THE EARL_!!"

Kanda glanced down at his bag on the ground not too far from his foot. Allen flinched. Guilt hit him like a bus. Over and over again. Kanda was right. Absolutely right. He was in pain too. It hurt to hear it. It hurt to see it.

"That snake…" his voice was shaky now. "...PLUCKED off three f*cking petals…" he muttered under his breath. No one knew about his ordeal with the lotus. But now he was on fire.

He needed to yell.

He needed to spill everything.

"No. That doesn't matter anymore." Kanda started again, looking back up at Allen. "At least that's what I thought. When I lost those I didn't care. Because I thought it would be _DAMN WORTH IT _in the end if we could find you and bring you back!" Kanda admitted with a faltering voice. He was no longer shaking due to anger. It was another emotion now.

Allen didn't dare to look up. He felt like his world was falling apart.

"...Guess I was an idiot, wasn't I?" the stinging intensified until Kanda could feel something warm running down his face.

"Che...but it's too late now. Lenalee and I can't return to the Order. We risked everything for you, Allen." Kanda said with a hushed voice. More tears welled up. "And we lost it all. Serves us right for wanting to get someone back…" Kanda backed away now. Fists curled up into balls, knuckles white from the strain he was putting on them.

" ...who...is precious to us."

Kanda slowly inhaled, trying to control his flaring emotions. The wetness in his eyes was an annoying sign of weakness. He glared at Allen, but it was softened by the glassy film over his eyes.

A long, unbearable silence dragged by.

No one moved.

It was safe to say that everyone felt like shit.

Lenalee was in tears.

Kanda was in tears.

Allen most likely would be in tears soon.

"Che. Well sorry to disappoint you, Allen. But we're bringing you back whether you like it or not. Because unlike you, we _CARE_. Lenalee _CARES. _I…" the raven haired exorcist hissed. His voice was extremely soft and full of hurt now.

"I care." the older boy revealed. He then turned and gently took a hold of Lenalee's arm, guiding her towards some stairs that led down inside the building they were on top of. She went down them silently.

Kanda stopped before the metal steps to glance back over at Allen.

"...Though I wonder if you still do."

There was a pause.

"We'll be waiting...Moyashi. We'll always be waiting…"

And with that, Kanda Yuu disappeared to the lower level of the building, leaving Allen in silence.

::

His mind was too blank to think. Everything was too blank. Everything just died.

Allen willed himself to look up at the empty roof top again. Eyes landed on the glowing bag. Kanda left it up here despite how important that hourglass seemed.

Not even the 14th decided to invade the boy's mind. Beyond the silence, Allen could make out small cries from below. Lenalee was truly hurt.

"_**We'll be waiting...Moyashi. We'll always be waiting…" **_

Allen shut his eyes tightly, biting down on his lower lip. It was then that all three exorcists were officially in tears.

---

**Lying From You:**** By Linkin Park**

_Lying my way from you_

_(No, no turning back now)_

_I want to be pushed aside so let me go._

_(No, no turning back now)_

_Let me take back my life, Id rather be all alone._

_(No turning back now)_

_Anywhere on my own cause I can see,_

_(No, no turning back now)_

_The very worst part of you is me._

_---_

PHEW Omg Kanda's epic rant…

It killed me to write him so out of character but in character but out of character but in.. but…AHH *headache*

He's supposed to be a bit off, so yeah. He lost it!

Poor Kanda cried D:

Don't worry people, Allen will have a very strong guilt trip.

Allen's stupid for doing all of that though. I'll admit. Oh and he gets stupid-ER if that's possible.

Anyways, REVIEW. It makes me happy. Oh and you can thank SolitaryLotus for doing such an awesome job. She Rp-ed as Kanda in this scene. I'm using our notes on it. Total beast at Kanda, isn't she?

And I'm over there being all emo and Allen-y. Psh. I disgust myself sometimes.

XD so yeah. Im gonna repeat it just in case I don't update in time…

HAPPY EARLY NEW YEARS PEOPLE! *throws confetti* X3 Kyaaa!

*tackles SolitaryLotus* I LOVE YOU! *chibi face*

Ok…Ulqy-chan still hasn't slept. Last chapter she typed up until 5 am then updated. Then she typed up this one starting around 9 am and updated at 4pm. No sleep. Ulqy-chan is extremely unhealthy.

She is also starting to think in third person.

Oh dear.

Ulqy-chan, OUT!


	8. I Love, I Cry, I Live, I Die

I'm back and with a normal amount of sleep! Happy 2010 everyone! I'm really having fun writing this story. I'm so glad people are liking it! Review to keep me going!

Oh and MitarashiiDango pointed out something I didn't clarify too well. The Earl used an electric attack on Kanda in…uh chapter 6. He did something similar in the anime/manga, well it wasn't truly THE EARL, but whatever. When Jasdevi created the 'angry Earl' in the Ark and made him fight Krory and Allen, that 'Earl' used a shocking attack, hitting both Allen and Krory. It was pretty strong. So since the Earl in my story was getting mad, I guessed that he could do that move. Not much is known about the Earl's fighting abilities, so I might make a few guesses here and there. So yeah. Done with explaining that XD

I'm constantly bothering SolitaryLotus to update Fallen. But ya have to remember, she's a SLOWPOKE *sticks my tongue out at SolitaryLotus mockingly* I'm updating like there's no tomorrow and she's over there being all SLOW and BAKANDA…ISH. Hmph.

WARNING: Extremely unnecessary angst and stupidity ahead. Use caution when reading Allen Walker's POV. That is all.

…Lol. And you think I'm kidding…

I don't own D. Gray-Man. I'm running out of witty funny things to say that have to do with me expressing how I don't own it. Sorry to be a let down. XD

**::~Sacrifice~::**

_True love is laced with sacrifices._

**Chapter Eight: I Love, I Cry, I Live, I Die**

Kanda stood by the crying Lenalee, giving her a silent comforting by simply being there. Allen had hurt her badly by saying those things. And he didn't make it any better by yelling. Lenalee was fragile when it came to her comrades. To see them fight and hate each other in front of her…

It was too much.

Kanda was the first to speak, swallowing the lump that formed in his throat. "...He...just needs some time. After what Leverrier said to him, his mind is probably a mess right now. Once he comes to his senses, I'm sure…" Kanda trailed off, uncertain. His mind was still racing with his heart over his small emotional breakdown on the roof.

Lenalee gave a small nod to show she heard him. Kanda unknowingly spoke what the two of them were hoping for at the moment.

Let this be temporary. They both prayed it would fade back to normal.

Allen was with them. But it wasn't HIM.

_It's like we're still looking for him…_

_And I wont stop until I've found him._

_All of him._

'He just needs some time' they both thought.

::

Allen wasn't sure what he was doing.

Allen wasn't sure why he was climbing down the building's side.

Allen wasn't sure where he was planning to go.

_Away…_

_I need to get away._

_Anywhere but here…_

The white haired boy landed gently on the ground, glancing back up at the building before turning and quickly running down the empty streets.

_Away…_

_I don't know where I'm going but…_

_I have to keep going!_

Everything whirled by Allen. His vision was blurred. He kept running. He didn't know why, but he had to. The world was spinning, doing flips, kicking, screaming, wailing and dying.

_Go back._

_Go back to the Order._

"_**The memories will eventually erode-"**_

_-No! I cant go back!_

_**"What would you do if I told you you'll have to kill someone you love when you become the 14th...?" **_

_Run…_

_Run!_

…_I'd die!_

Allen quickened his pace, trailing back into a non-deserted arrangement of buildings. He turned a corner and slowed to a stop, standing in an alley. He plopped down onto the ground, leaning his back against the stone wall and focused on catching his breath.

::

Darker clouds flooded the sky.

Since Kanda and Lenalee were inside a deserted building, the lights, as well as everything else was broken. So the room that they were standing in quickly became dark.

A golem ring cut through the silence. Kanda cleared his throat before answering, ridding his voice of any evidence that he cried.

"Yes?"

"It's me again. Sorry I hung up on you." Komui's voice whispered.

"Hn."

"Look. I managed to get the Order off lockdown long enough for you to get back here. I'd hurry though. Leverrier is practically breathing down my neck!"

"Baka supervisor! Leverrier is-"

"-Gah! I've been cau-" the golem went silent.

Kanda felt like cold water was thrown on him. This was getting bad.

"Let's go get the Moyashi. We need to head back to the Order immediately." Kanda said to Lenalee, who was in the process of wiping her eyes free of tears. She nodded and turned to go get Allen, traveling up the steps. Kanda didn't follow.

_Che…it's better if I keep my distance from him for now. _

Lenalee suddenly ran back down the stairs, distress all over her face.

"Kanda! Allen-kun's gone!"

_Well…F*CK._

"You go ahead and get on the train and head back to Headquarters, Lenalee. I'll find the sprout. At least one of us that knows about Leverrier needs to get back inside the Order. Everyone there is in danger." Kanda said, the plan already formulating.

"Once I find the Moyashi I'll get his sorry ass to open an Ark door and we'll join you shortly. Ok?" the samurai rushed on. They had no time to argue. Lenalee nodded, a bit reluctant but she understood the situation. And with that, she was out the door.

_You couldn't have gotten far…baka Moyashi._

Kanda ran back up the stairs to grab his bag, then instead of taking the long way, leapt from roof top to roof top, eyes scanning for a sight of a white haired boy.

Timcanpy suddenly fluttered around the samurai, distressed.

_Thank goodness that the Moyashi left his stupid golem._

"Tim, track him." Kanda ordered stiffly, The golem flew out in front of the samurai and began leading him to where it sensed Allen.

::

_Go back._

"_**-you'll have to kill someone you love-"**_

_-NO! _

"I can't!" Allen shouted, grabbing his head.

"_**Because unlike you, we CARE."**_

_I care!_

"_**Lenalee CARES. I…I care."**_

_I CARE!_

"_**...Though I wonder if you still do."**_

…_No_

"_**-you'll have to kill someone you love-"**_

_I can't care! If I care then I'll hurt them!_

Something clicked in Allen's head. A sudden realization; an understanding of what he had to do. It was so clear that it was unclear.

Logic went out the window.

It was all a blur now. In fact, Allen barely noticed that his left hand was activated. He barely felt it when one of his bladed fingers sunk into the flesh of his left leg. He barely heard himself scream. He barely smelled the blood.

He felt like he was watching himself from across the alley. He was distant. Not with himself.

Allen stared at the bladed finger that remained lodged in his leg. Silver eyes were clouded over. Thoughtless, he created words.

"Cross Grave."

It was but a shaky whisper, but the broken words managed to ignite sharply and explode. Another distant scream that didn't feel like his own. Another wave of pain that numbed over quickly after. The blast was enough to further pin the ex-exorcist against the stone wall he had his back against.

The cross of light faded, having done its job. The victimized left leg was destroyed and blood was quickly forming a pool around Allen.

It'd be over soon.

The main artery in his leg was blown open and was pouring its contents out with every fading heartbeat. Allen didn't have to remove his claw from his leg. There was barely anything left.

Crown Clown recoiled, having been forced to do it's host harm. Now that the orders were done the Innocence deactivated in an attempt to stop anymore hurtful actions. But it was obvious that within a few minutes Allen would die. Crown Clown was indeed a strong parasite-type Innocence but it couldn't repair the large wound in time.

::

Kanda felt a strong feeling of foreboding wash over him. This happened very often when in pursuit of the white haired bean sprout.

_Stupid Moyashi better be in one piece when I find him._

_So then I can beat him to pieces for being so idiotic._

"Che."

Timcanpy made a sudden jolt forward. Apparently he was close. They were in a less deserted part of town now, and Kanda could see several pairs of eyes on him as he ran through the streets. He didn't blame them for staring, his uniform was in shreds and he had a sword at his waist. Along with the fact that he was chasing a golden bird looking thing while carrying a glowing bag over his shoulder.

Definitely weird.

::

Allen felt himself slipping in and out of consciousness. It was all so dark.

_Just…a little bit longer._

_A little bit longer until I'm with Mana._

Footsteps met the delusional boy's ears.

…_Mana?_

::

…_F*ck._

Kanda had just turned down an alley. Immediately spotting the white haired boy, slumped over against the wall. Sitting in a pool of blood.

The samurai willed himself to walk forward, Timcanpy didn't waste time and fluttered over to the young master and sat on the boys hanging head. By the time Kanda reached the boy and knelt in front of him his heart was beating in slow, painfully shocked beats.

With a shaky hand, the samurai reached out and felt at the boy's neck for a pulse. He found one, silently rejoicing at the sign of life despite how weak it was.

"Baka Moyashi…" Kanda whispered, moving to scoop the boy up into his arms. He needed medical attention right away. As soon as his arms were underneath Allen, blood soaked into the fabric of his sleeves. Panic kept coming in waves. There was so much blood.

It was extremely easy to lift the broken ex-exorcist up from the ground, that added to Kanda's rising panic. He was too light.

"I-idiot…" he clutched Allen close to his chest and caressed the boy's head with care.

"I…said we'd be waiting!" Kanda hissed. Sapphire eyes drifted down to the boy's left leg, instantly darting away, Kanda swore his stomach of steel just did several flips along with his heart at the sight of the mangled leg. And he thought he had seen everything.

Anger boiled in the samurais blood. Who did this? What happened?

::

_That…isn't Mana._

_Who is it?_

Allen forced his eyes open, but all he could make out was a black blotch.

"Wh-who are…you?"

::

Kanda felt his heart leap into his throat.

"I-I'm Kanda…you stupid Moyashi…" he said in a whisper. There was a long pause before, in just barely a whisper, the boy replied.

"K-Kanda…? Moyashi…?"

The samurai could see the confusion in the boys eyes. He was too out of it to remember his own pet name Kanda had given him since the day they met, let alone Kanda's name.

"F-forget it…just hold on ok?" Kanda ordered, his voice softening. The boy blinked once before closing his eyes again. By then Kanda was already down the streets again, eyes searching for a hospital.

::

_Just hold on…?_

Allen felt too drained to hold on. His heart was slowing down and everything was going numb.

_I…cant hold on anymore…_

"I'm…sorry" Allen whispered.

The last bit of strength left him and he felt himself go limp, blacking out in the older boy's arms.

_---_

**You Found Me:**** by The Fray**

_Lost and insecure._

_You found me, you found me._

_Lying on the floor._

_Surrounded, surrounded._

_Why'd you have to wait? _

_Where were you? Where were you?_

_Just a little late._

_You found me, you found me._

_---_

I'm just too cruel sometimes. But don't worry. There will be much Yullen in the next chapter plus an epic Kanda fan service shower scene.

You know you'll like it…

*giggles* Anyways…

REVIEW! It makes me happy and saves Allen from blowing up his limbs. It's true. SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T REVIEW? HUH?!

Yeah that's right! You BETTER WALK AWAY!! …lol.

Ulqy-chan is very hyper off of nothing today~

Oh and if you don't get the title of this chapter I was just thinking of something that would rhyme and could describe a human, since lately Kanda's been experiencing some human traits and all. I love, I cry, I live, I die.

Yey rhymes!

Ulqy-chan, OUT!


	9. Blood

It's summer now! I have a few things to do here and there, but I really should pick up my updating pace. Let's start here, shall we?

I know a lot of you are wondering if I permanently crippled our lovely white haired main character in the last chapter… Eh…You'll find out.

On a side note, is anyone else upset that D. Gray-man is failing at updating at LEAST monthly? OneManga needs to kick into high gear. If I only get to read 2 new chapters of D. Gray-Man before school starts again, I will be very upset.

I don't own D. Gray-Man…It owns me. I'm serious…*twitches*

**::~Sacrifice~::  
**_True love is laced with sacrifices._

**Chapter Nine: Blood**

Getting through the double door enterance to the building was only a minor annoyance to Kanda. He had found a hospital shortly after Allen lost consciousness. As soon as he entered the Emergency Room he was mobbed by nurses and two doctors. It didn't take more than a second to realize that Allen needed immediate care.

Kanda was allowed to come back only because he was still carrying the boy. They didn't want to move him around unnecessarily.

"Careful now!" one nurse ordered Kanda as the samurai moved to set Allen down on the provided bed. He quickly shot a glare at the woman. He _was _being careful. The nurse crumbled and returned to gathering supplies and sorts. Another more bold nurse started to shoo Kanda out of the room. The stubborn samurai refused.

Kanda stood frozen in place, giving the white haired boy that was currently being swarmed by doctors a pained glance. He stared at the boy's face for god knows how long before finally snapping out of the trance and leaving the room on his own.

Timcanpy fluttered around the pacing samurai, getting thrown off by Kanda's sharp turns and abrupt pauses.

A clock that was down the hall ticked away. The samurai began nervously walking in synch with the loud second hand.

_Stay positive. Moyashi's been through worse._

…_well f*ck. "Stay positive"?_

_I'm scaring myself._

::

This was ridiculous.

Lavi scanned the room with his emerald eye carefully, taking in several stationed Central guards in long cloaks. Komui had managed to stop the lockdown, but everything was so heavily on guard there was barely a difference. Lavi luckily still had sources to obtain information, and found out that Lenalee was returning.

_But Kanda and Allen aren't._

_It's annoying…how I don't know what's going on with those two…_

Lavi lowered his one eye down to his lap, holding a defeated look. It really did bother him-not just as a Bookman, but as a friend-to be left out of the loop.

_I just hope they're ok._

::

After a long silence in the hallway, a nurse emerged from behind the door, causing Kanda to stop in place and give her his full attention.

"Your friend is on an IV and we're working on stitching up his leg wound, but he's lost a lot of blood" the nurse hesitated before adding "We need a donor…"

"However much you need, I'll give." Kanda replied immediately.

The nurse eyed the samurai for his forwardness, but knew there wasn't much time to complain. She had asked, and he answered.

"Hurry then. He needs it immediately after the operation is complete." the nurse rushed on, opening the door again and holding it for the exorcist. Kanda walked in. The room smelled heavily of blood, and some sort of cheap disinfectant.

The lights were slightly dim, and Kanda cursed his eyes for wandering. Of course he just HAD to look at Allen now.

The boy looked ghostly pale, hooked up to machines. An oxygen mask-firmly placed over the boys mouth and nose-obstructed Kanda's view of Allen's face. The nurse noticed Kanda's gaze and apologized several times. She rushed over and moved to pull a curtain to block Kanda's view of Allen. However, Kanda found himself stopping her with a firm hand on her arm.

A quiet, barely audible "No. It's ok." escaped him, before she shook it off and returned to guiding him to a leaned back, cushioned chair. She patted it as if encouraging a dog to come, and Kanda sat in it.

Everything was still a blur.

After seeing Allen's condition just moments ago, Kanda felt his heart soften, and an odd sense of confusion that he rarely got. Why did this happen? How? Who? It was infuriating to an extent. The softened heart only lasted second before it was stored away again and was replaced with cold anger. He wanted to murder who ever had done this to Allen.

But…why was he feeling this strongly? And for the _Moyashi_, no less.

Actually…

This wasn't the first time Kanda got worked up over the Moyashi.

Their first mission together ended with him showing more than a sliver of concern [that he managed to hide as anger] at the rookie's habit of self-sacrificing.

"_**isn't anything important to you!"**_

The boys answer was just as infuriating.

"_**Everything important to me was lost long ago."**_

At first, Kanda sympathized with the cursed exorcist. He had lost everything the moment he was 'born' into the Order. But then Kanda just got mad at Allen for being stupid enough to dwell around in that loss.

Kanda knew he was being hypocritical, but it was better if the boy just forgot about his past and focused on the future.

The nurse began preparing the needed supplies for the donation of blood while Kanda let his thoughts drown him temporarily.

They couldn't go back to the Order. Apparently that was a big _no-no _for Allen. And he had just gotten the boy back, so forcing him to go to the Order was pushing his luck. Again.

He'd just…

_This is unnecessarily complicated…_

Kanda sighed. He didn't know what to do after this. He had such a horrible planning method. He only got as far as 'find Moyashi and save Moyashi'. Now he was just winging it.

The nurse took the sigh the wrong way. She had been ready to draw his blood, standing beside him with all the supplies ready. Now she looked unsure.

"Go on." Kanda urged, pushing aside the thoughts for now. He descended into silence. She complied and started the process, and Kanda had to admit, he got a little dizzy as the blood drained. Kanda was used to blood loss, though. He always healed. Once the nurse finished, she bandaged up Kanda's arm, though he knew it was useless to. The small needle prick would probably heal in the next few seconds.

"Thank you so much," the nurse said with a soft smile. "Now please rest for now, ok?" Kanda simply turned his head to the side. There was nothing to say, and the blood donation was slowly taking its toll. He silently listened to the nurse, but didn't take his eyes off of the white-haired Exorcist until the curtains broke the contact.

After an unnerving amount of time listening only to the mutterings of nurses behind the curtain, the cloth was brushed aside and a doctor along with a few nurses filed out.

The doctor approached where Kanda was laying, causing the samurai to sit up quickly. The room swirled around Kanda, but news about Allen overtook the fact that the quick motion had made him dizzy. The doctor gave a small chuckle, then handed crackers and water to the exorcist.

"You're supposed to eat afterwards or you get dizzy." the man said before pulling up a nearby stool and sitting on it.

Kanda took a moment to examine the provided food and water before taking a bite of a cracker awkwardly. The doctor waited until Kanda was done eating, which was a short period of time. Kanda wanted information from the doctor desperately. The man most likely recognized the plea in the samurais eyes, because he nodded and let out a sigh before speaking.

"I have good news and bad news concerning your friend. Which would you like to hear first?"

Kanda felt his heart tighten and skip several beats. Oh no, was Allen…? No. Impossible.

"Bad news first." The doctor took a moment before complying.

"Your friend has lost a lot of blood, and even with your donation, he'll still be a bit low on blood for a few days, which means he might not wake up until at least 24 hours or more. His wounds were taken care of but…" The doctor paused here, causing Kanda to glare at the man to make him continue.

_Don't beat around the bush._

He wanted-no-_needed_ to know. Now. The man caught on to the vibes of murder Kanda was sending out, and continued.

"...I wish I knew how his leg got stabbed and then literally blown apart. We were forced to brace his femur with a metal rod and reset all the joints in his left leg, and even with all the work, there are some fractures that may never heal completely. It will take him at least a full week or so to even stand up on his own, let alone walk."

Kanda was glad he was already recovering from the dizziness from the blood donation, because now he was dizzy from this news. Where was the good news in all of this? How could there be any?

"However.…a certain substance we weren't able to identify seems to react with his blood cells at an incredible rate."

Ah. There was the good-wait, what? Kanda stared at the man for an explanation. He got one.

"I have no idea how it's happening, but the natural repair process of his body has nearly doubled. That's the good news. A normal person would take at least three months to recover from an injury like this, but if he continues healing at the speed he is, he may be recovered in less than three weeks." The doctor smiled as he finished, hoping the good news was enough to ride over the bad news.

The only reaction Kanda gave was a confused and slightly amazed stare down at the patched up arm he donated from.

_Could it be…?_

It must have been. His blood had healed Allen. No, correction, as long as that blood was circulating in Allen's veins, Allen would be _healed_. The silence was broken again by the doctor.

"Excuse me, but...you wouldn't happen to be an exorcist from the Black Order, would you?" Though Kanda's uniform was in mere shreds, the metallic symbol that represented the Black Order was still visible. Kanda nodded. Though Allen wasn't in uniform, Kanda felt like sticking up for the younger.

"Yeah. We both are." We. That means Allen included.

_You're an exorcist, so deal with it, baka Moyashi…_

"I thought I had recognized that emblem." the doctor said with a bright smile. His eyes held a new admiration and respect for Kanda, as well as the boy he just operated on.

Kanda was used to treatment like that, and carried on with finishing up the crackers. A few sips of water, and a question rose.

The wound.

_How did the Moyashi get that?_

Allen's Innocence wouldn't permit an attack to hit its host near the legs, that annoying cape of his blocks and protects that region. Allen either did it himself, or let it happen. The doctor suddenly stood, shaking Kanda from his thoughts.

"I'll let you get back to resting." the man announced before turning to leave. Kanda spoke up to stop him.

"Wait." the man paused, looking at Kanda curiously. The last few pieces of the puzzle in Kanda's mind snapped together, and he formed his question.

"…the wound in his leg… What shape was it?" the question threw the doctor off for a moment, before he seemed to recall the operation for the answer.

"I don't know why it matters, but the muscle tissue at the base of the bone closest to the stab wound was torn in a cross-like shape that expanded outwards."

Kanda's blood ran cold. So he was right. Allen did that to himself. The doctor watched as Kanda became ridged, his fists clenching at his sides. He stood from his bench-like bed and stared at the man with cold eyes, hiding his intentions.

"Can I see him?"

Even though it was a question, Kanda said it as a command. He _will _see the Moyashi. Then, he'd knock some sense into the idiotic bean sprout for using his Innocence on his own leg.

The doctor nodded and guided the exorcist to his comrade. Then he left the two alone.

Now, all Kanda had to do was wait. Planning obviously had to wait until Allen woke up, and he'd be damned if the Moyashi still insisted to be left alone.

They were in this together.

Allen needed Kanda, and though the samurai refused to admit it-even to himself in his thoughts-he needed Allen.

**Psychobabble****:** **by Frou Frou**

_Do just what I tell you,  
And no one will get hurt.  
Don't come in any closer,  
Cause I don't know how long I can hold my heart in two.  
Make no sudden movements,  
And no one will get hurt.  
You're making me nervous.  
If you know what's good for me why would I be leaving you?_

Oh. My. Gawd. That took FOREVER. -grabs a flashlight and makes my face light up ominously- FOR. EV. ER.

Yey for Sandlot references.

Anyways… I am SOOO sorry! I feel HORRIBLE for not updating until NOW. Ugh… Bad Moyashi is bad…

You don't have to review…but I'm slightly curious…does anyone read this anymore D: ?

~Ulqy(Moyashi)-Chan, out. [But I will be back with oodles of updates involving the Yullen Drabbles!]


	10. Shut Up

I'm aiming to update in the next week. Do you think I can make it? Cause if I do, that means SolitaryLotus owes me another chapter of Fallen [we made a deal]. Cheer for me!

I don't own D. Gray-Man. I don't think I want to, anyways. The plot and the new art style Hoshino has is nightmare inducing. I'd like to remain partially sane, thank you!

**::~Sacrifice~::  
**_True love is laced with sacrifices._

**Chapter Ten: Shut Up**

He was dead.

Dead.

Allen Walker was dead.

That _had _to be it.

The fading in and out of black and white supported his theory, as well as that numb sense that made him wonder if his body was truly there or if it was just his spirit left behind. It wasn't warm, but neither was it cold. Was he even breathing? Do people breathe when they're just spirits? He was gone. The war was over for him. The Innocence could no longer plague him along with the 14th. He must have died, and that was that.

Allen didn't know why, but he was slightly anxious for a scene change. The black and white fading was nice, but he had a feeling there was something more to see. At the same time, he wouldn't mind too much if he never moved again. He didn't even know if he _could _move.

Occasionally, a weird sensation crawled up his form. It took a couple times to finally register in Allen's mind as _feeling_ something. With that conclusion, he realized that he wasn't dead. Pain and weariness greeted him. He felt so heavy…

Everything was so heavy. Pulling him out of the white glow and back into the black.

He could hear; that was another clue. He heard several things. Sometimes it was a nervous female voice-the way her voice rose and dropped told she was trying to talk with someone else, but the second voice only gave short responses. Allen swore he heard the person scoff, and that sent a thrill of memories and recognition through his mind.

Other more quiet times, he only heard the male voice. They randomly talked, and on occasions it soothed him back into the darkness. But it mostly annoyed and poked at him, causing the dim white to overcome him.

There was no sense of time, but a sense of patience and how it was thinning. Allen didn't know how long he continued to fade in and out, but the gnawing presence of Crown Clown reminded him of three things; that he was still alive, he was not moving, and he hadn't eaten in a long time. The Innocence was less patient than he was himself. It wanted to destroy Akuma. It wanted to absorb nutrients. It wanted to keep walking.

_Walking._

Why did that ring a certain bell in his head?

One that hurt, too.

_Walking…_

His leg.

The memories rushed back at full force, along with the pain, leaving only three words that he prayed he kept to himself when they first popped up:

_F*ck! That hurt._

Allen held back a groan as he shifted experimentally to get his bearings without opening his eyes to the well-known white ceiling. His muscles ached. _Everything_ ached. His left leg felt like it had several different weights on it, and it itched. Oh _GOD _it _itched_.

He was in a hospital bed. The stiff mattress and crunchy sheets gave away that fact. His left leg was wrapped in annoying bandages that scratched at the wound rather than helped it heal. He was also in different clothes that seemed to be one size too big [he was a rare small-framed male. The hospital probably didn't have his size]. It was annoying, but most of all it made him wonder…

_Why?_

Why did he survive? He was sure…No. He wasn't sure he was alone in that alley. Someone came, and that someone saved him.

More memories concluded that it wasn't just anyone. That black blur belonged to his savior, and though there weren't many facts to support this theory, Allen had a gut feeling that it was indeed…Kanda.

It was Kanda.

Also, if he wasn't suffering from any brain damage, he was pretty sure that the short responding scoffing male voice belonged to the samurai. If that was also correct, then there was a slight error…

Why was there a hand on his?

_If it's Kanda that's in the room, then who's hand…_

The ex-exorcist was hit with realization [that seemed to be happening a lot lately.]

_Oh my God, he's gone insane._ Allen concluded. _Kanda is holding my hand._

_My left one, to boot._

Allen's Innocence welcomed the boy to full consciousness by heightening the senses in his left hand, which usually remained a steely cold. Kanda's hand was warm-surprisingly- but rough near the palm and beginnings of his fingers. He felt a small squeeze as the hand incased his fully, eliciting an almost-gasp of surprise from Allen before the warmth left him completely.

_Ah… he let go._

For some reason, that all but added to Allen's disappointment.

::

It had been well over 24 hours since Kanda had brought Allen to the hospital, and though the younger was showing signs of waking up, he hadn't fully opened his eyes yet. Kanda wasn't patient. In fact, he had long ago lost his patience to the extent that he began to talk to Timcanpy to pass time. The golem didn't seem to mind, but, since it was just a golem, it wasn't exactly an _exciting_ conversation.

He even occasionally talked to Allen, even though the boy was more than halfway asleep the entire time and it wasn't exactly _talking_. It was more like commanding.

"Get up, you stupid sprout." or "when you wake up there'll be hell to pay" which made sense to the samurai, but really, who would wake up if that was their reward?

Soon enough, Kanda realized this and he began to bargain with the unconscious boy.

"If you wake up, I'll call you Allen." Kanda said in a whisper. He was uncertain when saying the boy's name, but it didn't show entirely in his voice.

The boy stirred, and the samurai perked up drastically, repeating the sentence louder to get more of a reaction.

::

…_Oh my God. He said my name. In a whisper, no less._

Allen's heart raced, skipping several beats. _Oh my God, he said it again._

_I feel like a stupid fan girl, but…Oh MY GOD!_

_What should I do? What should I doooo!_

Allen squeezed his eyes shut. What cruel fate. Finally, Kanda offers to use his real name, and of course Allen is then _too afraid to even breathe._

::

The boy went still again, causing Kanda to sigh and rub his forehead tiredly, silencing himself with defeat. The lump in his throat eventually calmed down with his heart beat.

_F-fine. I was gonna keep calling you Moyashi anyways._

Kanda had enough pride in him to withhold a childish pout from surfacing.

"Che…"

Moving on from his horrible rejection, Kanda glanced towards the window.

The boy was probably very tired, so it was taking him extra time to recover from the blood loss. Kanda vaguely wondered how much sleep the boy had gotten since he left the Order. Or how much food he had eaten.

_Food._

That sparked an idea. Since the sprout was showing signs of waking up, and was probably starving, he could get some food for him-Oh, hell, forget "probably." He _knew_ Allen was starving. Even a deaf person would be able to tell-the boy's stomach could growl loud enough to cause a vibration through the floor. Thankfully it hadn't reached that stage yet. Kanda decided then that he would get his comrade some food before that happened, and swore to himself that he was doing it for _his_ benefit, not the Sprout's.

Though, it would be hospital food, and that stuff is never good. But then again… this was the Moyashi Kanda was dealing with. That fact helped the samurai come to the conclusion to get up from the chair beside the bed, and search for a nurse.

"I'll be back, Moyashi." Kanda announced unnecessarily before leaving the room.

The hallways were a blur of silence, along with the occasional explosion of a squeaky cart and bubbly assistants. The lights were so bright that they seemed dim, adding a more dreary sort of feeling the place. Boring. Monotonous. Kanda picked up his pace.

The room was on the first floor, so most of the nurses were in clusters at the enterance and front desk. It was a small hospital too, so Kanda managed to recognize one of the nurses as the one that drew his blood.

"Oi," he called out. She became attentive as Kanda strode over to her. He was quite intimidating.

"Yes, Mr. Exorcist?" she asked politely. Apparently news of two exorcists staying at the hospital spread fast. He dismissed it, however, and asked her about food for the "Moyashi" which he had to clarify afterwards as "the idiot with the old man hair and a f*cked up leg." This caused the nurse to fluster and nervously nod. She remembered now.

"I'll go get him something, then." she said as a way to dismiss herself. Kanda scoffed, not bothering to inform her of the sprout's eating habits. When he woke up and finished what they provided, Kanda would go and get more. Simple as that, yet slightly annoying and troublesome. Oh well. While he was at this considerably nice mood, he could maybe get the Sprout some Mitarashi dango.

_That'll get him back to his lively self in no time._

Kanda returned to the hospital room Allen belonged to, but this time didn't sit back down in his "perch" [which consisted of the corner chair pulled to the side of the bed so he could successfully loom over the Moyashi], he went over to the window to stare out at the garden that surrounded the back of the hospital.

The lotuses were being merciful this time. They blended in with the other assortments of flowers, and remained only there. For a moment, Kanda wondered if the illusion faded momentarily, and there were really lotuses in the garden. He didn't dwell on it for too long, because soon enough the nurse from earlier came in with a try of food. She seemed a little disappointed to see the boy was still asleep. Kanda rolled his eyes. Ok, he knew the Sprout was awake, but he was being nice and not saying anything. Now, after being "nice" for long enough, Kanda returned to being impatient and annoyed.

"Oi, stop playing dead already. There's food."

Allen visibly tensed-though the nurse didn't notice. Nothing passed by Kanda's eyes.

::

Allen swallowed and then slowly cracked his eyes open, obeying the other exorcist. At first, the room was too bright. The lights were on this time, and it hurt. Allen squinted before blinking uncertainly. He didn't dare look to his right where the samurai stood, watching him by the window.

"That's better." Footsteps shifted across the room-where for a moment, Kanda came into Allen's line of sight before disappearing out of it once more. There was a mutter "I'll take it." to the nurse, no doubt. Then the door closed.

Allen wanted to say so many things, but in the end, his voice box voted on staying silent. Kanda approached him swiftly, causing Allen to cringe and shut his eyes tightly. This was it. Kanda was going to beat him senseless-

"Here." A tray of food was placed on the surface of the bed that wasn't being occupied by the scared boy. Allen dared himself to peek up at Kanda, but the older looked away and scoffed to avoid eye contact.

"Che. I'm not going to hit you, baka Moyashi." the samurai sighed wearily before sitting down in the chair beside the bed.

There was a pregnant silence before Kanda glanced back at Allen shortly. "Go on. Eat."

Allen hesitated before sitting up carefully, covers pooling at his waist. He blinked several times to adjust to the upright world.

::

Kanda simply watched as the white haired boy fiddled with the tray of food, occasionally giving the samurai shy glances. All of which he avoided.

He felt bad for treating the sprout this way, but for some reason he had to. He had to not just be glad with Allen being alive and not a cripple. He had to be disappointed. He had to be angry. He had to…

::

"K-Kand...a? Are you-"

"-Shut up."

Allen's heart contracted as well as his mouth.

::

Kanda felt a lump form in his throat, making it harder to breath, as well as speak.

"Just…shut up and eat." he said softly. "I don't…"

_Damn, what am I saying? I cant just leave it there._

"I don't..._hate_ you," Kanda clarified, still in a whisper. "I just…-don't…-Oh f*cking God" the samurai gave up and cursed to himself. Words were _never_ his forte. And Allen just watched, metallic eyes shimmering with thought.

"I'm sorr-"

"-Don't." The air was thick with tension, and Allen was drowning in it, while Kanda was already crushed by it.

::

"Don't…" Kanda repeated, eyes glancing briefly towards the white haired boy again. Allen shrunk away mentally, fear emerging in is eyes. Not angry? Kanda was an awful liar… More silence passed before the older exorcist cursed again under his breath, and leaned over to plant a hand on the bed, looking Allen straight in the eyes. The white haired boy at first automatically moved away, but Kanda moved his free hand to take a hold of his chin. Allen froze at the contact.

"Don't you ever do that again." There was no hesitation this time. No eyes averted, and Allen found it in himself to match sapphire with silver.

He knew right away that Kanda was not kidding. That it was a command.

. .

**Miss You: By Blink 182  
**_Where are you and I'm so sorry  
__I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight  
__I need somebody and always  
__This sick strange darkness  
__Comes creeping on so haunting every time  
__And as I stared I counted the webs from all the spiders  
__Catching things and eating their insides  
__Like indecision to call you, and hear your voice of treason  
__Will you come home and stop this pain tonight  
__Stop this pain tonight._

_. ._

Phew. That was…fun to write in a sense. It started getting a little harder. You guys have no idea how close I was to ending the chapter after this line:

_Allen wanted to say so many things, but in the end, his voice box voted on staying silent. _

I got stuck at it for hours after having smooth writing all the way through. It was annoying, but I pulled through. Aren't ya glad! :DD?

Anyways, review! You have no idea how much I fan girl over people actually taking a few moments of their time to give me their thoughts. Good or bad. It helps! I'm sorry there wasn't much interaction between Kanda and Allen in this chapter, but I assure you…it's like the quiet before the storm, as they say, so hold tight!

~Ulqy/Moyashi-chan, out!


End file.
